Thursday, November 25, 2004

I Hate Christmas Part 1

There are many ways to classify and divide the human race but today I am just thinking about those who love Christmas and those who don’t. I’m one of the latter.

I loved it once but that was when I believed in Santa Claus.

So pre-Christmas blues might be the reason why I’m feeling a bit down at present. I haven’t been out walking for a couple of weeks and I’m eating jelly babies by the pound. I am also spotty, pot-bellied and dull of spirit. My hair has all the shape and appeal of a whin bush and my joints ache. I can’t get out of bed in the mornings and I long for it at night.

I’ve discovered that work is perfectly entitled to make me stay on the premises unpaid during breaks. Naturally this has eroded my good will towards the org and I now take every grudging minute of my imprisoned break time instead of working through part of it, which is what I often used to do.

And I’m working on Christmas Day. And nobody better buy me any candles this year or I’ll come round to your house and use them to set your curtains on fire.


Anonymous said...

Dear Nelly - sorry you are feeling a bit grim. Point taken re the candles and hope I will not add to your distress with an unwanted gift - I feel a token coming on? JB

Anonymous said...

i know wot you mean nelly, it is hard to get up in the morn when its cold and the winter day is so harsh you jus want to go to bed at night. its because we humans are really meant to hibernate. im sure of it. and as for work, there is no worse time to work with children and worn out parents than christmas time, and as for santa, well he jus takes the piss. he lets on he does all this hard work over christmas and its the elves who do it all. i sympathise. santa's little skivvy.

Anonymous said...

HA HA -hair like a whin bush - thats a great analogy. I never get to hear any of those norn iron sayings over here in chilly edinburgh. life here at christmas is pretty grim too - almost as busy as the festival period, everyone is shopping and have so many bags they take out at least two small children per trip (and i also have to be polite to the bastards at work).
It also feels as if the temperature has dropped to sub-zero and at this time of year it is mandatory that all buses run at least 15 minutes late.

Will definitely not buy you any candles this christmas. if i forget i fully permit you to set me on fire.
lots of love,

Nelly said...

It's not as if I HATE candles, it's just that I got hardly anything else in 2002. I suppose I'm lucky you lot want to get me anything I'm such a grumpy old sod.

Anyways I hope JB coped with her long, long day on Wednesday past. Hope you weren't too cross with the lazy, idle lot who were probably yawning their heads off 'cos they had to get up at eight.

Mel, I said curtains. I couldn't possibly set you on fire, for what would Shazza and MikeyBoy do if you were turned into a cinderous yule log.

And as for you Santa's Little Helper - it's a dirty ould job but someone's got to do it.

Anonymous said...

And just remember how grateful you are everytime there is a power cut! ZB