Monday, March 07, 2005

Bianca and Bernie

Bianca and Bernie Bantam are standing at their kitchen sink discussing the building work going on next-door and the imminent arrival of new neighbours.
Bernie: “Who is this Nelly anyway?”
Bianca: “Some class of a rapper I’m told.”
Bernie: “Holy fuck! That’s all we need! Anyway it’s not what I heard.”
Bianca: “So what did you hear then?”
Bernie: “Well it’s probably shite, God I hope it’s shite.”
Bianca: “Tell me. Tell me right now.”
Bernie: “I heard it was a dragon.”
Bianca: “Go to hell! Sure we wouldn’t last five minutes with a dragon!”
Bernie: “Apparently she likes a dog and she likes a garden.”
Bianca: “Well I suppose there’s more eating in a dog compared to a bantie.”
Bernie: “I really don’t fancy a dragon as a neighbour. We’d be better off with a rapper. At least he’ll not eat us. Though I suppose he'll be black?”
Bianca: “I heard he was.”
Bernie: “There’ll be drive by shootings for sure.”
Bianca: “It would hardly be handy for them. They’d have to come up the lane, then they’d have that big pile of blocks to get round, then back down the lane again. Anyway it’s racist of you to assume that just because Nelly’s a black rapper that there’d be guns involved”
Bernie: “I don’t see how you can say I’m racist. We’re probably every bit as black as him if not blacker.”

Nelly Moser would like to apologise for the 'fowl' language, profanities and breaches of PC code that have appeared in this post.


Anonymous said...

you can be forgiven for the breach of PCness but you cant be forgiven for the fowl language nelly.


Nelly said...

It's a fair cop.