Bert's oldest friend Clint has returned to his old job of wagon driving after a period spent running a retail business from home. Driving is a job that is mentally exhausting but it doesn't burn off many calories. And while Clint is a big man he doesn't want a big belly so he's decided to get out from behind the wheel and walk. And who better to get out more with than his old mate Bert.
Now Clint doesn't feel that comfortable in urban areas unless he is encased in a HGV. And when he's in rural areas he likes the protection of a Massey Ferguson, which for preference, will be embellished with a bushwhacker or some other useful attachment.
So Bert decided that Clint on foot would need breaking in gently. Their first outing was to the nearby town of Portgenone. Bert reported that Clint wandered the street of Portglenone like a tourist. He gazed the length and breadth of the street marvelling at its many shops and attractions. He just couldn't get over the bustling metropolis the town had become.
The other Friday night when Nelly was at work and Bert was having a cosy night in with his girlfriend Swisser (and their chaperon Ian) the talk came round to Bert and Ian's plans for the folowing day. Ian informed Swisser that Bert and himself would be having a big day shopping in Portglenone. "Ooh," says she, "That sounds fun. What's it like for shoppng then?" Ian answered "Fantastic." and went on to tell her what a great day Bert had had with Clint and how impressed Clint had been with it all. "I'd love to come too," she said. "What's there?"
So Ian described Portglenone's many attractions.
1. Shopping for work boots in Logan's
2. Pies from Portglenone Meats
3. Costcutters for the weekly shop
4. Dessie Dayfresh
5. Admiring the guns in the gun shop
6. Watching Anthony fall off his boat into the Bann
7. Glow-in-the-dark Virgin Marys in the Monastery shop
8. Lunch in the Wild Duck
And still she wanted to come!
And what of Clint and getting out more? The outings have continued. Recently Bert and he had a stroll round the Sallagh Braes followed by a brief sojourn into Larne. They are working their way up to Carnlough but they'll have to get there soon as it will be a bit too frenetic for Clint when the warmer weather comes.