Sunday, October 30, 2005

Six Days Shalt Thou Labour

ACT I

SCENE: A workplace

PRESENT: Nelly- a cupboard scrubber, Aggie –an observer, Maggie - another observer

Aggie: I don’t know what you’d want to be scrubbing cupboards for on the Sabbath day.

Nelly: I can hardly say to the boss, ‘Sure it was the Sabbath so I left those cupboards for Maisie to do.’

Aggie: But ye shouldn’t be scrubbing cupboards on the Sabbath. Sure that’s not necessary work.

Nelly: Aye but I’m at work. I’m getting paid. It’s a quiet day. I might as well scrub cupboards. What do you think Maggie?

Maggie: Well I’m going to work later.

Nelly: There you are! Maggie’s going to work. She’s going to be selling blouses in the Tower Centre. Is that allowed?

Aggie: Sure that’s OK. Maggie has to work on a Sunday. That’s her job. You shouldn’t be scrubbing cupboards. Ye had six other days to scrub cupboards.

Nelly: But Sunday is a quiet day. Perfect for cupboard scrubbing.

Aggie. Humph! Ye have six other days to scrub cupboards an’ the morrow ye’ll likely be sitting knitting!

ACT II

Scene: Nelly’s home

PRESENT: Pearlie – Bert’s mother, Hannah – Nelly’s daughter, Nelly (Bert is cleaning windows in the background)

Nelly: God Hannah I never saw Bert cleaning windows before in my life!

Hannah: Aye. He’s keen when he starts.

Nelly: I may enjoy it. He’ll hardly clean any again ‘til 2010 at least.

Pearlie: He probably saw that no one else was going to rise and do it – the cratur.

Nelly: Aye you’re right Pearlie. Everybody else was lying about with their feet on the coffee table doing Soduku and crosswords. Is there any food in this house Hannah?

Hannah: Um. Not really. There’s no cheese or bread, nothing for dinner and the coffee’s nearly done.

Nelly: S’pose we may go to the Mace then.

Pearlie: The Mace?

Nelly: Aye. Do you want anything?

Pearlie (affronted): No indeed I do not. The Mace? On a Sunday? Sure ye have six other days to go shopping in. Why do it on a Sunday?

Hannah: Because we’ll starve if we don’t.

POSTSCRIPT

Pearlie was at Church this morning. She goes rarely these days but it was a special Service today to do with the Boy’s and Girl’s Brigades.

Pearlie: Ach it was lovely. There was men there and everything in BB uniforms. If ye’d a went to the Boy’s Brigade instead of them oul Scouts ye might have still been in it and ye might have been a Leader by now.

Bert: I would like to think I’d be a Leader by now if I was in the Boy’s Brigade. I’d look well to still be in the rank and file at 46!

2 comments:

Adam said...

Tight or what?!

Nelly said...

It was tighter yet when I first came to this Presbyterian place. We used to have to go to Ahoghill (den of iniquity) for the Sunday papers.