Friday, December 16, 2005

The Deep, Deep Peace Of The Dentist's Chair

I woke up this morning with impaired vision in my left eye. The reason? It was swelling resulting from two days of emergency dental treatment. Wednesday morning was spent at the surgery having an abscess treated. The dentist kindly offered to extract my tooth on the spot and I responded by bursting into tears. Because I couldn’t face the world with two gaps and my new pretend teeth were not ready. Then bolstered with painkillers and antibiotics I spent the next 25 hours at work. It was fairly eventful. Pregnant girls shinning up and down drainpipes, either attempting to illicitly enter or illicitly leave the premises, enlivened the nighttime. Who knows if it was true? Stories vary and I saw nothing. Then the daytime was wee Belfast boys installing security cameras so that we can enjoy action replays of pregnant girls shinning up and down drainpipes. Or not. As the case may be. Management then decided that this would also be a good day for revamping the office. So here’s me trying to do my normal work sitting at a desk zombied on painkillers and there’s them hovering impatiently wanting to move or do away with the desk and then when I go to file something (first locate your filing cabinet) I return to find the desk is upside down and halfway out the office door. Half hour to do a petty cash receipt – that’s a record even for me. It was so hectic that I said to my boss,

Do you know where I’d rather be? I’d rather be sitting in a lovely peaceful dentist’s surgery having a tooth pulled.
And a couple of hours later when I was sitting in a lovely peaceful dentist’s surgery having a tooth pulled it wasn’t half as great as I’d imagined. And now I’m sitting here still zombied on antibiotics and painkillers and wearing my pretend teeth and they are not as awful as I’d imagined. Things can only get better.

8 comments:

dantobindantobin said...

"Zombie" as a verb = awesome. (Hope you're doing better now...)

ed said...

Things can only get better.

Indeed. The only way to look at things. Hopefully that's the bad things for the next year all out of the way nice and early.

Anonymous said...
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Nelly said...

The above was my own post which somehow I'd posted anonymously. Hope this one makes it through. All I wanted to say was thanks for the kindly comments chaps. Much appreciated. I'm good, back at work and blogging away. (I'm on my break)

CyberScribe said...

I'll lower the tone of this conversation....."A man goes it to the dentist and asks for his tooth to be removed. The dentist says "ok well I have to give you a shot". "No", the man replies "I hate needles your not giving me a shot". "Well" the dentist says "we have some gas to give you". Again the answer was "no". The dentist goes to his office and brings back some pills. The man takes them and asks what they were. the dentist replies "viagra". "VIAGRA!!!" the man shouts "what for?" "well it won’t do shit for the pain but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull this tooth."

Nelly said...

ftTutty-tut-tut!

Anonymous said...

God but there's a desprit amount of dirt on this site.

Hope you're feeling better. I'm not.

Did you hear on the news that due to shortage of aviation fuel at Heathrow planes to Australia are taking off and from there and then landing at Stanstead to refuel - all of TEN minutes later?

ganchinh

Nelly said...

Tara! Will you be accompanied the whole way by one of those RAF petrol tankers with wings? I'll not sleep a wink for worrying about you.