Sunday, January 29, 2006

On Being Fat

Poor Rob. Never mind that he writes a mighty fine blog. Never mind that he’s got himself an awesome book deal. What he does mind (a lot) is that some pikey-ex of his is putting it round the internet that he’s fat. And apparently he’s not. He’s a veritable man-mountain; he’s a brick shithouse but he’s not fat.

But if he was he could blame it on a virus. It’s true, it really is. I read it in the Sunday Times and I got it here.

Being fat has got nothing to do with glands, genes, or gluttony. You catch it like the common cold. It’s an illness! It’s an epidemic!

But. Twenty doesn’t agree. And when I have a think about it I don’t agree either. The simple reason is that all the fat people I know, including myself, do like to eat a lot. And that all the very fat people I know eat a hell of a lot and don’t shift themselves that much.

So I shan’t blame a virus for my being as fat as a fool, or as Bert so sweetly puts it, ‘a fat wee fucker.’

7 comments:

Mr Bolan said...

Like most fat people, I would do anything to get into shape. Except eat less and exercise more.

Nelly said...

Marc! You're NOT fat!

OK. Your turn now....

Mr Bolan` said...

Sure doesn't everyone say Nelly is svelte. I have heard them say so.

Nelly said...

Scared not to I expect. But it makes you wonder - Nelly.....? The elephant?

Anonymous said...

I don't get Twenty. He takes about 8 paragraphs to write "Everyone else but me is a big fat c**t". I really don't see what is funny about that.

I guess he's the kind of person who prefers Little Britain to Peepshow.

ganching (I am not fat)

Nelly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nelly said...

I prefer Peepshow and didn't even watch the last series of Little Britain.

Twenty is an awful scur and even the occasional read at his blog would give a clue to the reason for his alleged thinness for he appears to suffer from severe and chronic diarrhoea.