Last night we decided to compile some contact details for the Ireland’s Own. Because we’re all looking for pen pals and fresh platonic friends. Right!
Petite brunette wltm Father Christmas look-alike. Must have own beard and come more than once a year. (Jenny)
Tall, slim, fair, debonair, dashing, thoughtful and forgetful male wltm male or female for social outings, possibly more. Sd/ds. Ala. (Bert)
Slim and vivacious blonde, shy and outgoing wltm dog loving, warm-hearted trumpet player for more, much more. Ds. (Hannah)
Banjo player seeks banjo teacher with luther experience for long sessions. Must be Dolly Parton look-alike. (Ploppy Pants)
Bubbly, verging on cuddly* female wltm hen expert 35-55. Must have own tractor. Please enclose photo of tractor. Sd/ns. Ala. (Nelly)
Tall, dark and handsome Anglo-Indian vgsoh, wltm slim blonde saxophonist or similar.
Slim, dark, eccentric, academic and artistic woman seeks mature balding Handy Andy alpha male for walks on the beach and frolics in the sand dunes. Gsoh essential. Ns. SD. (Swisser)
Bubbly = fat
Cuddly = very fat