Friday, June 23, 2006

Don't Touch My Stuff!

I’ve had a touch of blogrot going on and it is all CyberScribe’s fault. This Nelly for No. 1 thing makes me nervous and piles on the blogging pressure as well. But here we go and in the best blogging tradition I am going to start with a rant.

I totally hate people who mess with my things. I thoroughly despise people who, in the guise of ‘helping’, put my kitchen stuff in illogical places. Today I was going to make Bert some delicious soda bread to eat with the delectable chicken* broth we created yesterday and I go to my trusty Magimix and find that some bloody tosser has lost/mislaid the blade. It can only be one of two people.

First in the frame is Jazzer. Yes you, you scatty bitch. I know your sluttish ways. You just push everything into cupboards, under carpets and below cushions; God knows where it will turn up if it was you put it away. I sincerely hope not under a cushion or some poor cratur could end up with a lacerated arse.

Second in the frame is Swisser. She is an academic and therefore without a shred of common sense. The blade could be anywhere. Or – in a fit of jealous fury at my superior baking skills and refusal to give her recipes – honestly Swisser I just throw things together, I never use recipes – she has either binned it or hid it in some crazy place.

So now that I’ve got that off my chest I present a list of possible blog topics I’ve been mulling over.

  • The joy of chicken keeping

  • Breasts (not chicken-related)

  • The role of Chep pallets in the Ulster loyalist tradition

  • What shall we do about Harry de Cat?

Any preferences?

*Not from a chicken we knew

13 comments:

Beowulf said...

In the tradition of my victory of you (na na na-na na) in the cyber scribe poll I would vote for all of those, repeatedly.

Nelly said...

Knowing you as I do (after all you were my election agent in a previous poll) I would not be surprised to find that you cheated disgracefully in the CyberScribe poll.

Are you watching BB? I won't give you a NSFW link for GossipMonkey,com as it would be an occasion of sin for me as a Catholic.

Beowulf said...

I did not cheat disgracefully, I cheated elegantly and with poise!

I'm not watching BB, a little football and that's my lot for the telly these days. Is it any good? I kinda feel George Galloway was unbeatable and want to leave it at that high/low note.

Sandra said...

Why do you need a mixer to make soda bread? Have I just been taught to do it the hard way?

Nelly said...

Why do I get the feeling that when Beowulf writes a 'little' football he woefully underestimates?

You don't need a mixer to make soda bread but it saves having to chisel hardened breadmix off the surfaces.

ed said...

Now that's good rantage. Random insults and unfair accusations. Proper order.

Nelly said...

Why thank you.

Sandra said...

Oh, I see. Have you found the blade, before somebody gets a hole in their backside?

Nelly said...

Blade still missing. And shouldn't you have said an extra hole in their backside? *titter*

Sandra said...

I am sure that I don't know what you mean - but like that skittery wart the other night, I know that it is rude.

CyberScribe said...

maybe it should be... Nelly for No 1 Soda Bread maker :-)

Nelly said...

Definitely Nelly for No. 1 rhubarb & ginger crumble maker. Yummy!

CyberScribe said...

"rhubarb & ginger crumble" I'm getting hungry