Bert's encounter was with the on-duty variety and just outside Armoy. Firstly he accused Bert of driving through the village faster than the required 30mph. Knowing Bert, this was unlikely. He was more likely to have been driving under the speed limit as over it. However it was no matter as the officer had no means of judging his speed and Bert was, as is advisable, most affable and polite to the officer.
And where are you coming from sir?
Yes. I was camping there last night.
Camping? Do you expect me to believe that?
Yes. I was camping with a couple of friends.
And who are these friends? And where are they now?
It's Marty M..... and Brian I don't know his second name. They're sitting in Ballycastle now at a big fry and if you wait there they'll be along eventually.
Please step outside the van sir....