Monday, April 09, 2007

"Randalstown is..."

The following 'facts' were gleaned from the interweb. Obviously this means that they are indisputable.I have it on the best authority that the fellow on the left is (allegedly) a fourth cousin, twice removed, of John Wayne the Hollywood film star. I think you'll have to agree that the resemblance is startling.


  1. Randalstown is a small town in County Antrim, Northern Ireland

  1. Randalstown is where John Wayne’s ancestors come from

  1. Randalstown is a lovely wee town

  1. Randalstown is approximately 6.75 kilometres long

  1. Randalstown is a relatively narrow and undulating rural route

  1. Randalstown is a pretty village on Lough Neagh

  1. Randalstown is behind us

  1. Randalstown is being used

  1. Randalstown is still unsettled, and likely to be so for some time

  1. Randalstown is going to wreck and cannot recover unless the mills are occupied

  1. Randalstown is a City in Antrim

  1. Randalstown is not the correct location

  1. Randalstown is fairly evenly balanced (54% Catholic)

  1. Randalstown is actively involved in the family farm

  1. Randalstown is a place of thrills

  1. Randalstown is offline

  1. Randalstown is noted for its beautiful arched stone bridges

  1. Randalstown is entirely heated by two 30kW geothermal heat pumps

  1. Randalstown is the Best

  1. Randalstown is a complete shithole

  1. Randalstown is absolutely rubbish

  1. Randalstown is only up the road frum ickle me!!!

  1. Randalstown is so much more than that. We got two bridges…

  1. Randalstown is a fenian hole

5 comments:

ed said...

a) many of those quotes are mutually exclusive

b) at least one is from me, and therefore of dubious reliability

c) Trevor is related to John Wayne? Cool

Nelly said...

a) Are they? I never noticed

b) That one might be a lie

c) Oh yes! I say so and I never lie

Cybez said...

You missed RANDALSTOWN CHESS CLUB where they play chess which is a black and white jungle according to Garry Kasparov who I don't believe is from Randalstown.

Nelly said...

I'm sure Ed said he was a scout. Or was it Young Rooney?

Bert used to be in the Scouts but he was given a dishonourable discharge.

So apart from a handful of GAA notables, a record producer and a serial killer - that's it?

ed said...

*ahem*