Friday, July 06, 2007

What I'd Have Given For A Magic Wand

I had a really tough day at work today.

But Bert's day was atrocious.

He took a lot of criticism from various parties recently for removing all but one of Bernie's eggs from under her and replacing them with battery hen eggs. The one bantam chick hatched two weeks ago, two of the hen eggs were duds, one died in the egg and the surviving chick hatched today. It is a grotesque. So that was the first big annoyance of his day.

Then the Man from the Ministry landed in (as arranged) to examine plant passports. Yes Ed, some plants have to have ID cards already. Bet you didn't know that. Of course Bert had forgotten he was coming, hadn't hoked the paperwork out, and got himself into a terrible flooster.

Plant passports located, Ministry Man placated and Bert thought he'd have a nice relaxing toot on his clarinet. He went to retrieve it from the turf box (because that's where you keep clarinets, Acker Bilk swore by turf boxes) and raised it to his lips. That's when he noticed that it was covered with cat shite. Holly had evacuated in the lovely turf coom and all over the bell end of the claro. As Bert says, she's a bad wee bastard.

But more about me - If I'd a magic wand today I'd have magicked me up a plumber or two. They were scarce on site and very much in demand. I've never felt as stressed at this job as I did today. Happily I did not turn to comfort eating and have kept my healthy eating on track for four whole days now.

The best part of my day was making a little sex-film down at Clint's house. I'll put the link up tomorrow as I haven't edited it yet. Slightly NSFW but sure it's the weekend!


grannymar said...

I suppose I will have to wait a week or two for my half dozen eggs.

hootchinhannah said...

Hmmmm, I bet Bert longs for the days when all Harry Ze Cat done was pish on him.