Sunday, November 18, 2007

Things I Do At The Weekend That Keep Me From Blogging

Saturday. Get hair cut. Take it from me that hair is awesomely sexy and gorgeous but no photo could do it justice. Hence no photo.

Go to bank and have heart attack when realise that £300 cash has disappeared from bag. Blame Eastern Europeans met on stairs going into Tower Centre and accept that not only am I phenomenonally careless but am racist to boot.

Return to car and discover big fat hole in handbag lining underneath which lurks £300 and various other items thought were lost. Return to bank and transfer cash to Hannah's account in order that she is equipped to pay fines/bribes on her way home.

Go home. Listen to Bert lament that no one calls, no one phones. Tell Bert this because he now so boring, nothing in his head except clarinet, no wonder no one calls.

Next thing Best Poteen Maker in Antrim phones asks if it is convenient to call and string Bert's guitar. Say certainly come on over. Say to Bert - you taking up guitar then? He replies no just want guitar in good order in case anyone comes over that might want to accompany me on clarinet.

Best Poteen Maker arrives. Slag him about appearing on TV programme with Willie Drennan. Says he wants that kept quiet as disaster far as he is concerned. I go out for three mile walk in pouring rain with Bonnie while Best Poteen Maker and Bert play with guitar. Discover that bargain waterproof trousers bought in Lidls are awesome job.

Return home to find that Best Poteen Maker and Bert have been to music shop in Cully and bought entire stock of tin whistles. Discover that Bert far superior player of tin whistle than Best Poteen Maker despite Best Poteen Maker having appeared on TV with Willie Drennan.

Visited next by Young Rooney who convinces Nelly that purchase of £269 iPhone would be very sensible idea.

Sort out some of the contents of Pearlie's cupboards. Find that she has kept all souvenirs from all weddings ever attended. These include several lots of sugared almonds from Big Days since when Bride & Groom are now divorced, grandparents or both. Find that Rosie, normally indiscriminate feeder, draws line at thirty year old sugared almonds.

Later drink bottle of wine with Bert and watch Kevin And Perry Go Large which find poignant and entertaining. Obviously very good bottle of wine.

Sunday gets off to strange start as Bert, Paddy and Rosie get up before Nelly and Bonnie. Clint astonished to find Bert up, mousetraps emptied and pigs fed. Have discussion with Clint and Bert as to proper DEFRA recommended feeding of pigs which would not include household scraps, thirty year old sugared almonds or dead mice.

Have huge clean up of house during which decide not to yap at Bert because his approach to domestic tasks at variance with own. One hour later, one shining downstairs later, realise damn good decision.

Afternoon go to Wee Mannys for delicious Sunday lunch. Two starters, lamb with all trimmings and something called Malva pudding. Wonderfully good afternoon.

Home to Earl Grey, none of your business and a touch of light blogging. Where do weekends go to?


ejh said...

You don't need a quality bottle of wine to enjoy K&P Go Large, you just need the ability to turn your brain off entirely.

A useful ability, that. Seen me through many a training seminar.

Nelly said...

The ability to turn brain off + bottle of wine would be awesome at a training seminar, particularly one that deals with H&S issues.

Training at a place of employment not a million miles from...

Line manager: Here! (Chucks book on money-laundering at subject) You should read this.

Subject: Thanks. Will do. (Puts book in desk drawer. Forever)

Mudflapgypsy said...

Sounds like a great weekend Nelly. I also got a haircut, very spiffy it is too.

That wine sounds good. ;-)

CyberScribe said...

Is Bert on MySpace yet? We need to hear him playing his clarinet and possibly his tin whistle.

Hageltoast said...

It's all arse backwards of course, if we had 5 days of weekend to sort our lives out they'd get more work out of us in the remaining two than they do at present, since we have to sort our lives out at work in order to enjoy the weekend. :)

Scooterdeb said...

You just None of Our Businessed one of the best parts of the story!!