Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sunday Morning Conversation

Pearlie: Would ye luck at the amount o’ porridge in that dish! How does she expect me to eat all that oul slap!

Nelly: But that’s only a tiny wee dish…

Pearlie: It is no! And look at the size of that oul spoon. I thocht I toul you to hide all the big spoons from them carers.

Nelly: I did. And that’s only a teaspoon you have there.

Pearlie: It’s a quare big teaspoon.

Nelly: Shall I get you a set of teeny apostle spoons?

Pearlie: Mebbe. And here dear, d’ye see all the wee bit o' tea she’s left me? I toul her the cup was too full. Then she went and threw oot the half of it! That’ll niver do me!

Nelly: We’ll get you more tea. You only have to say the word.

Pearlie: I’ll tek it now. And a bit of toast along way it.

Nelly: Right o! (Leaves room)

Nelly: Your ma’s in a right pernickety mood this morning. Will you get her tea and toast? I’m to sort out her spoons. Again.

Bert: Okay.

Nelly: We’ll be needing medals for this.

Bert: Medals? We’ll be needing heroin.


Grannymar said...

We used to give my mother her food on a large plate, the portions looked smaller. It worked well for us.

Nelly said...

Pearlie has been turning down big plates for years now. The amount she eats would hardly keep a bird going. But at least it's all fairly good stuff. My own mother lives mostly on buns and chocolate.

Anna in the USA said...

My mother-in-law kept one of those tiny, about the size of a TV, refrigerators in her bedroom. She would say she wasn't hungry then happily eat her braunsweiger, cheese and crackers after we left.

The little fridge let her have some choices; and, although we thought some of them unhealthy choices, she lived to 94.

Nelly said...

94! Oh dear - twelve more years of Pearl-Ri.

Anonymous said...

rofl @ Bert's SOH


Ronni said...

Keep a stash of old saucers. when the mood strikes, go out back with a hammer and a saucer wrapped in a rag. Smash the saucer with the hammer. Paste on a smile and go back in.

It sounds crazy, but it really does help.