Monday, October 13, 2008


Imagine my delight when I got home from work this evening to find that Bert was having a lovely bonfire after he’d hacked back some horrendously overgrown shrubs. Then imagine my rage when he suggested that I ‘might like to get stuck into that buddleia.’ Stuck into that buddleia? You spend a hard day desk-jockeying for the construction industry and before you’ve even got a second to enjoy a cup of coffee you’re being invited to get stuck into a buddleia. Naturally I told him to wise up. It was then he told me the phones weren’t working.

I bought new phones on Saturday. Our old phones were D-O-N-E. They wouldn’t hold a charge any more. We were missing calls.

After a 24-hour charge I plugged in the phones in and straightaway test-phoned Matty. All was well. We received a few calls on Sunday evening. So I assumed that the new phones were a big success.

So when I heard they were buggered my first thought was that Bert had been playing with the phone and hit the stupid button and knocked the whole system off. So then I got out the manual and tried messing with the buttons myself. No joy. Then I had a go at testing our line over the internet. Our connection was working but the test site wasn’t. Then I phoned somebody real at BT. She was very helpful and advised me to remove the face plate and try the phone straight into the hole behind the plate. This meant getting out my lady toolbox with its dinky little screwdrivers and hammers. (Bert is not allowed to touch my lady toolbox.) I stuck the phone straight into the hole behind the plate and it worked. Which was good. Unfortunately I lost my broadband connection. Fortunately I got it back again when I stuck the phone into the hole in front of the plate again. Unfortunately the bloody phone stopped working again.

Sometimes I wish I was a bloke and cared enough about this sort of thing to never give up until it was all sorted. Sometimes I wish Bert was a bloke who cared enough….

And don’t even get me started on my new computer.

Do I go for Linux and embark on a steep learning curve that may involve the tearing of hair and lots of gnashing or do I stay with Windows XP? I’m torn.


sageweb said...

You could always find a lesbian in town..we are friendly and love to fix things. Probably only cost you a beer or two.

I have a MAC it.

Nelly said...

You're the second person today singing the praises of the Mac.

Any friendly phone-fixin' beer-lovin' lesbians in Countys' Antrim or Derry then?

Grannymar said...

If Bert was a spark, you would be sticking wires in holes all over the shop!

Scooterdeb said...

I thought that after you got married, Bert was allowed to touch your lady toolbox.

Nelly said...

Bert will never be allowed to touch my lady toolbox!

Anonymous said...

Don't go for Linux. Much as I love it, I still don't think it's ready for Real People Who Have Better Things To Do. You'll just end up spending a lot of time learning Linux's way of doing things, when you could spend that time doing fun things like, well, getting stuck into that buddleia.

(Though if you do go for Linux, Ubuntu will probably be the least hassle.)

The same goes for Macs - I'm using one a fair bit lately and none of my control-keys work they way I expect, and I can't Alt-Tab between windows. I never realised it was all so ingrained into my fingers...

Good luck!

StrayTaoist said...

I concur. Don't go Linux.

I concur. Get a Mac. Which is a *ix with a shiny UI. (Here, haven't I said this before?)

geofftaylor: Alt-tab doesn't work, s/alt/apple/. Apple-tab works. And apple-c copies. And apple-v pastes.

Repeat message: Get a Mac. I have two.

evilganome said...

I have to weigh in on the side of Macs as well. I share office space with the IT guys in our department and they consider Apple a much lesser evil than Microsoft.

Is "getting stuck in the buddleia" a Norn Iron expression? It sounds dirty. In a good way. I won't even mention your lady's toolbox.

Nelly said...

I am digesting all this and will decide soon.

Geoff said...

Thanks, Toaster (have you registered for WRGPT18 yet?). I know the Apple command-key combinations, they're just not second nature. I'm using a Mac a fair bit these days, but my 'finger memory' is still very much Windows.

I suppose it's like moving from a standard-tuned guitar to an open-tuned one. The principles are the same but all the chords are different. I never really got the hang of open tunings either.

I miss the taskbar as well. The dock is... weirdly different.

So, I'd still advise avoiding Macs if you're a Windows user, although if you haven't built up that finger memory yet you might be OK.

And credit where it's due - Macs are beautiful.

Now we have an Apple Store, you (Nelly) could take a trip into Belfast and try one out before you make the decision.

Good luck.

Nelly said...

I do use a Mac at work - in fact I'm using it now. Thing is I've already got my machine - I'm just deciding on an OS.

Stray Taoist said...

Geoff: Aye, I'm in, have been registered since the start :)

Catch ya on the top table!

steve said...

Some tech-free celebs are recovering tech addicts. Tyra Banks told New York Times Magazine that her BlackBerry habit caused her physical pain. She has since gone low-tech and jots her thoughts in a notebook.
Technophobia, of course, extends far beyond cell phones.