In Which Bert Is Ordered Out Of Town

All he was doing was driving a few kids into Cullybackey for fish and chips. Ben and Bert sat in the car while Erin and Nichola went into the shop to give their orders. No one back at the house had actually noticed that the girls were wearing GAA tops. But the red faced guy in the bright orange cowboy hat and the Rangers shirt spotted it straight away and called the girls 'Fenian Bastards' . He then went over to his homies sitting in a car and made a point of glaring over at Bert. Bert eyeballed him back. At this point he didn't realise that the man (old enough to have more wit) had subjected two young girls to sectarian abuse. Bloke comes over to Bert, not too close, gives him the finger and tells him to get the fuck out of Cullybackey and not to be coming back. Bert wound down his window and asked him what his problem was. He backed off and dandered away singing "I'm King Billy I am. No surrender!" No doubt the special bus was parked just around the corner.

Bert was most indignant at being ordered out of his own village. Ah well. Strange days, these days.