Lost Lives Again

This was the most beautiful day in balmy Belfast. And I spent the first part of the day in my favourite part of the city, the Botanic Gardens taking in a quick scoot to the museum and a longer one to the Palm House and the Tropical Ravine.

Paper sculptures inspired by Michelle Clapton's costume designs for Game of Thrones, created by Billy Butchkavitz. Currently at the Ulster Museum.

A selection of beautiful blooms seen today in the Botanic Gardens in the Palm House and Tropical Ravine.

But my main reason for today's trip to the city was to see the film Lost Lives at the Queen's Film Theatre which premiered in London yesterday. The book Lost Lives is a memorial to all who died as a result of more than three decades of conflict in Northern Ireland. My own copy is much read and referred to and has often been wept over. I wanted to see this film.

It was harrowing and beautiful, telling the stories of some of the people who died, beginning with Patrick Rooney in 1969. He was nine years old and the first of many children who were killed during the troubles.

I'd never heard of the Orr brothers, Malcolm and Peter, 19 and 20 years old. They were murdered in 1972, shot in the head and dumped on a roadside near the airport. No one knows who killed them except that they were two Protestant boys who had Catholic girlfriends. The grief of their parents as their coffins were removed from their home was terrible to see. There was so much grief portrayed in the film.

And it made me so angry to think that there are people right now who are utterly unconcerned about Ireland, about what we have come through, about our fragile peace.

The filmmakers were definite that every single death recorded in the Lost Lives book should be included. And so at the end, all the names were listed. Beginning in 1969 with 21 deaths, peaking in the first half of the 1970s (my father's brothers Sean and Brendan were murdered in 1974) then gradually declining through the 1980s, 1990s onwards. Yet one of the heart-wrenching names to see was one solitary death in 2019.

Lyra McKee.

I had to compose myself as I left the theatre. And it felt strange to be out in the sunshine again in Belfast, with people going about their business, just like any other city, on any fine afternoon. My edition of Lost Lives records 3697 deaths between 1969 and 2001 and 45% of those occurred in Belfast.

Monstera Deliciosa (Tales From A Room)

I look back at this picture taken Christmas 1976 ( I was 23) and it brings back so many memories. That dress. Floral, bought from the Go Gay Boutique (yes, really!) in Lower Mill Street, Ballymena. It was floor length, fashionable then and showed a lot of cleavage which I was shy about hence the long fringed shawl. Silly to be shy, for I had a most magnificent bust. But unlike maxi-dresses and fringed shawls,  bosoms were not so fashionable back in the mid-seventies.

Who was the guy in the background? Somebody sleazy, masquerading as respectable. He sired a child back then that he ignores to this day. Shame on him. Nothing to do with me.

I remember that night so well because I was to meet a boy at that party. Someone I'd been seeing for a while, someone I thought I was in love with. Heck, I was in love with him in the way people are before they know what love is. He jilted me that night. Went off with someone else and broke my heart. I knew I'd been stood up when that picture was taken and I was pretending not to care.

The plant was a Swiss Cheese Plant, a Christmas gift from my friend Rosie. I had it for years.

Forty years later and a favourite haunt of mine is the Palm House in the Botanic Gardens in Belfast. There the Monstera Deliciosa plants are enormous. That picture only shows a few of the leaves at the base of the plant. That baby is more than ten foot tall. So I'm yearning to have one for myself. On my most recent visit to Ikea, I said to Zoe,

Should I?

And she says,

You should.

So I did.

Call back in several years when it's ten foot tall.

A Trip To Belfast

I managed a day out in Belfast today, my main objects being a visit to the newly refurbished Tropical Ravine in the Botanic Gardens, some new reading glasses from Flying Tiger and a present for Bert.

I had mixed feelings about the Tropical Ravine. There is no doubt that it needed the refurbishment, if only for the survival of some of the older plants in there but it has lost much of its former dilapidated charm. Now it seems less mossy, too modern. I much preferred it as it was.

The grounds outside the Ravine have had a makeover too, planted mainly with geraniums. I was pleased to see that I have in my own garden, all the varieties I spotted except 'Rozanne' and I want 'Rozanne'.

The Palm House was in disarray today with many plants pushed to the side for cleaning but the display of pelargoniums on the Museum side was spectacular. Lots of varieties that I don't have but would love to own.

My next stop was the vintage store on Botanic Avenue where I bought Bert two shirts. That was the present ticked off my list.

I lunched in the Linen Hall Library and it was very quiet in there. Then a bit of a wander around the city centre. I got some lace-up shoes I've been thinking about for a year or more and two pairs of readers in Flying Tiger. I was disappointed not to get the apple green ones I bought last time as I've had such a lot of compliments about them. My fashionable niece even advised that I should base my whole look around them.  I still have the apple green ones but Jess, the hallion, jumped on them as I was getting dressed for bed one evening and they don't sit right any more. Three quid glasses just cannot handle being pounced on by sprollies.

There was a bit of time to kill before getting the train so I had a drink in Robinsons. I took it outside and as I sat there I thought of how thirty years ago a person might be taking quite a risk sitting across from Europe's most bombed hotel (33 times in 25 years). Thankfully those days are over.

On the train home, I read the book I picked up in the Linen Hall Library charity shop. Letters between Nancy Mitford and Evelyn Waugh. It was rather 'laugh out loud' in parts but so prejudiced against Jewish people. That was shocking. Or maybe it was just Lucian Freud? Still appalling. It was written by a Mosley, so obviously shameless.

I got Bert to try on his shirts as soon as I got home and was pleased that he liked them. He especially liked the denim, a vintage Ben Sherman, so much that he kept it on and went out to clarinet practice still wearing it. That's never happened before and I've been buying him clothes for more than thirty years.

Day Out In Belfast

I wonder if you might guess from which Belfast station I alighted from this morning?

When I had done with all that I walked to a cinema in the Dublin Road to watch No Stone Unturned. It was an afternoon showing so the audience was small. All, apart from one young man, were middle-aged or older and afterward, it was noticeable just how affected everyone was as they left.


There was an hour to spare after that and I just walked. Walked and walked and walked. That may even have been the best part of the day.

The Young Gardener

We were visited this afternoon by two community gardeners and Miss Martha excelled herself in making them feel welcome. She herself has been a keen gardener and a habitué of the polytunnel from a very early age. 

It started with strawberries. Once Martha realised that strawberries could be grown she never looked back.

It was no time until she was looking after her own plants.

Here she is wheeling bedding plants to her own little plot.

With a little bit of guidance from Bert she was soon on her way to becoming a horticulturist.

She has always been very conscientious about watering.

And digging. She likes to dig.

Here she is watering her beloved strawberries.

She soon outgrew the miniature pink rake although I still use it to level my raised beds.

Our young gardener has recently become very interested in trees. Here she is watering an oak tree that we inherited from Martha's great-grandmother Martha. It has since been planted in our wood. Martha has her eye on the hundreds of beech seedlings that have sprung up under our trees and wants to plant her own wood.

Inspecting the plants for pests.

A day off gardening. Martha checking out the Spring bedding in the Palm House in Belfast.

Planting perennials while little sister looks on and learns.

So, it was very little wonder that Martha enjoyed talking to the community gardeners this afternoon. She took one of them to see her pond and showed him her most recent addition to the garden and when he asked her what it was she answered "Lithodora 'Heavenly Blue'." I believe he was impressed. She then presented him with one of her beech trees which he graciously accepted. No matter that he too was surrounded by beeches, sure one more would do no harm.

Her next project? A fairy house. We'll keep you all posted.

Busy Day

First of all, I baked this loaf. It had been rising all through the sleepy-time hours so I gave it a quick knockback, turned the oven on to high, took my coffee back to bed then baked it for thirty minutes exactly.

Sorted out my chickens, showered and went to Belfast.

Then straight to the Ulster Museum to look at the exhibition that wasn't child-friendly, the Francisco Goya 'The Disasters of War'. It was harsh. I also took another look at recent Irish history section, the part that depicts what some call 'The Troubles'. I have a friend, a Republican and Sinn Fein activist, who finds this part of the museum anodyne but I am always affected by it and often tearful. The so-called Troubles were my entire adult life from around fifteen years old until they ended, if they even have ended. Maybe my friend is right. I'm sad and sniffly at the Ulster Museum but in our other city at the Museum of Free Derry  I was in pieces.

As always it was impossible to resist the Palm House which is so close to the museum and the delights of the exotic and wonderful plants within. Just one niggle - why aren't they named. I always feel I don't know a plant unless I have its Latin name. I knew the Dizygotheca elegantissima, Passiflora caerulea, Crassula ovata and Monstera deliciosa because I have or have had those plants at some time but what's this?

Or this?

No doubt I'll find out some day.

It was a good day. I needed to get out on my own and when I got home the people I live in where in very good form (they had enjoyed a Nelly-free day) and the sourdough bread was very delicious indeed. 


Since posting this I had the following message on Facebook from a South African friend.

The yellow flower is a Hibiscus that is a genus of flowering plants in the mallow family Malvaceae. They grow prolifically in SA.

Martha and Nelly's Day Out

Miss Martha and Granny are going today

To Belfast on the train

Miss Martha is fervently hoping

That Granny won't be a pain

Martha and I had our eagerly anticipated day out in Belfast on Saturday. That was three days ago and I'm only just beginning to recover. You see, I thought because Martha was a big sensible four-year-old that we could make a longer day of it. What I didn't take into consideration was how exhausted I would get. People of Martha's age have an inexhaustible supply of energy. People my age - not as much.

The Charity Shops

Martha's main aim was to replenish the dressing up box. She wanted a cocktail dress or a wedding dress and insisted that I measure these articles against her. It was difficult to persuade her that a dress meant for a tall and buxom bride was not going to do for her. And even size 6 party dresses were going to swamp a little girl. If the sparkly, sequinned dresses had only been a few pounds I might have let her have one but they were in the £6-10 range and far too expensive for dressing up. I explained that it would not be fair for Martha to take these for dressing up when there were big girls who needed them for parties. She understood.

The Ulster Museum

We went to see the Curious Beasts exhibition which is on loan from the British Museum. Martha found it a little disconcerting. Or was that me? I'm not sure.

Notions of Forever

This suited us better. Notions of Forever is a special exhibition, part of the Belfast Children's Festival. Its theme was how people's imaginations change as they move from childhood to old age. Martha and I didn't really understand it fully at the time but I think we both found it intriguing and I definitely found it moving and heartfelt.

Martha with the artist, Liz Cullinane

Botanic Gardens

A run round the big flower bed outside the Palm House.
A sniff at the beautiful flowers inside the Palm House.
A discussion about dead fish in the Tropical Ravine.
A terrifying incident when young adults dressed up as Foxes and Other Curious Beasts had a mock sword fight at the bandstand.

The Play Park

Lots of racing around and swinging and climbing and round-abouting whilst Granny had a wee rest on a bench.

The Train Home

Because we were both very good we rewarded ourselves with magazines for the train journey home. I had the Guardian and Martha had a My Little Pony magazine chosen for the quality of the gift sellotaped to its front. It was a plastic toy pink and purple mobile phone with a carrying case and a sheet of stickers. I got to read a bit of the paper while Martha chatted on her new phone. She was talking to 'a man'. The gist of the conversation was that the man's wife was in hospital having a baby and that he wanted to take photographs as it was 'coming out' and then he wanted to make a calendar featuring the photographs. He was negotiating with Martha about stickers to decorate the calendar and wanted 'baby' stickers but she told him she only had 'unicorn' stickers and he apparently agreed to this. Or so she told me. Needless to say I found all this much more entertaining than the Guardian.

On the train home wearing new tiara found in a charity shop

The Botanic Gardens and Other Fine Places

Today I escaped the rain. The butcher told me that it rained and lashed and mizzled all day in Cullybackey. Belfast stayed dry.

The train was absolutely packed. There were so many people standing that the conductor was not able to make his way through the train to collect fares. I'd imagine NIR lost a few pounds today. But not through any fault of mine. I purchased my (free) ticket at Botanic. It's easy-peasy being honest when honesty comes without a price tag.

I met a very pleasant lady on the train. Turned out she was a fellow SmartPass holder although I'd have guessed her to be at least 15 years too young for it. We chatted about the general delightfulness of free travel and she told me this story. A retired couple she knew from the Castlerock area went for a trip on the train every day! Apparently it got them out of the house and saved them a fortune on central heating. Personally, I don't think I'd enjoy it so much if I did it every day.

Once on Botanic Avenue I headed towards the Ormeau Road and the Asia Supermarket. Non-descript from the outside, it is a hive of activity inside. The staff are very helpful. One young woman, I think she may have been Polish, went out of her way to find me gochugaru. My recipe (from The Guardian) recommended that this could be sourced online. Not a-tall! Just head over to the Ormeau Road. Asia Supermarket is also a great place to get woks, fryers, knives and other kitchen equipment at very reasonable prices.

After finishing my business in the Asia Supermarket I took a stroll along the Stranmillis Embankment past the Holylands, scene of a famous St. Patrick's Day riot in 2009. I think I may be related to at least one of the rioters but, as I have over 50 first cousins, around 150 first cousins, once removed and about 17 million second and third cousins, it would be hard not to find kin among them. Anyway they were all well educated people so nothing to be ashamed of.*

I then strolled through the Botanic Gardens and called into the Ulster Museum. I didn't stay long as it was mid-term break and far too many over-excited children that I wasn't related to. As far as I know anyway.

 Portrait of Seamus Heaney by Barry McGuire

Peter Edward's painting of Michael Longley

Then couldn't resist a quick peek into the Palm House where I saw a glorious display of highly scented hyacinth interspersed with cyclamen and cineraria.

Then a quick bowl of soup and a coffee at The Little Cupcake Cafe** and it was time for the train home. I arrived in Cullybackey to a minor drama. Our 14 year-old godson was AWOL in Ballymena and there was an irate (and worried) parent in Antrim. It all worked out. He safe. He grounded.

All in all a very good day out.

* Heavy irony.
** I had a cupcake too.

Starting The Year

Where did I ever find the time and energy to blog every day? Here is a catch up.

New Year's Day

I was very tired. All our guests went home except Hannah who went to bed early. Bert and I had a quiet and uneventful night in front of the television. It was blissful.

2/1/14

Martha and Evie were here for the day. Three of us to look after them! That meant they got to run wild as each of us kept thinking someone else was in charge. At one point I found them in the dunghill splashing happily around with Ziggy. Thankfully they had their welly boots on. Ziggy had to be showered which was a lot of fun for everyone except Ziggy.

Later that evening we all went to the Alternative Medicine Theatre pantomime. It was Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood. Martha instructed me to war a lovely dress and Bert to put on nice, clean clothes. We obliged. She herself wore a lovely dress, a sparkly ring, lip gloss and a dab of perfume to mask the faint aroma of dung. There had been no time for a bath. Evie and Zoe wore jeans despite Martha's protests. Martha's Dad was allowed to just wear his clothes. I think she must consider him a lost cause.

The pantomime was great fun. Martha was suitably unnerved by the Sheriff of Nottingham but enthralled by the Spirit of the Greenwood (a fairy). Zoe and Evie did not stay for the entire show as Evie was extremely tired. Afterwards we met the cast. Martha was still not sure about the Sheriff but she was delighted when the Spirit of the Greenwood admired her ring.

3/1/14

Spent all day cleaning house. Jakers came round and he and Bert spent the afternoon playing tin whistles. I picked up Ben and Jazzer for they were needed on Saturday.

I phoned a good friend who had a hospital appointment that day. He had worrying news. Nothing definite but huge cause for concern.

4/1/14

On Saturday we had our long-planned Day Out In Belfast. Jazzer stayed behind to look after Pearlie while Nellybert, the girls and Ben headed for the Big Smoke. Martha has requested we go to the Ulster Museum and that's what we did but of course we visited the Palm House and the Tropical Ravine in Botanic Gardens as well.

Martha and Evie love the Ulster Museum and are fairly regular visitors. It has been two years since Hannah and I were there with Martha and I don't expect she remembers it. These days she is the Boss Of The Ulster Museum and knows where everything is. We had a lovely afternoon but I was so tired. I was glad to have Ben and Bert to help.

Martha spent ages in this costume. She was with Ben when she first spotted it and another little girl attempted to take it. Martha had a tight grip on the outfit and a determined expression on her face. The other girl had to give in. Poor Ben couldn't cope. He turned to me and said, I can't handle this. Can you take over? I got her into the costume and added a hoop petticoat. Martha was in another world. Didn't matter that the room was full of other children, that there was lots going on, that it was noisy. She dipped those skirts and floated around, another girl altogether.

Today

Tired. Reading a great book. Dentist tomorrow.