Is Cosmic Ordering Evil?

So far I have fallen in a puddle and (on another occasion) broken my tooth.

Worse still, Mikey's friend lost her job as a consequence of his ordering up more time in her company.

And Hannah has this to say,

Has no one cottened on yet that cosmic ordering is EVIL. Noel Edmonds is EVIL. I have yet to cosmically order anything and now I'm too scared to.

I Meet A Namesake & Ponder The Hidden Hazards Inherent In The Cosmic Ordering Service

It can be a bit nerve-wracking constantly going into new places of work. This is why I was a bit worried about going to the Over The Hill Home today. Anyway I gave myself a good hour to get there and as I was driving up and over the hill I thought to myself, I know! I'll do some cosmic ordering. So I ordered up that my colleagues would be pleasant and friendly, that I would be able to make myself useful and that I would not personally have to deal with shit. Because I just didn't feel like dealing with any shit today. And it all happened just as I'd requested! The colleagues were lovely and friendly, I felt like I was of some use to them and there was no number two action on my watch. Yet once again the Cosmos played me for a fool and had a damned good laugh at my expense. Because I had quite forgotten to order that my denture would stay intact and would not snap in half as I munched on an apple during the staff teabreak.

My namesake? The nicest, friendliest woman from Botswana.

Disgruntled & Dull

I just wrote a post about having no curtains* and wakes** and the Moderater of the Presbyterian Church in Ireland*** but it was a bit doomy so I'll pass on it.

Nothing interesting to report. Even the dogs are going through a dull patch. Which is something I should probably be grateful for.

I've had no word about the interview I attended last week and I really miss my foul-mouthed and witty colleagues from Tinkerton. Tis dullards work in those other places. Only the inmates are interesting and they can be a touch repetitive.

I cannot even be arsed to ask Cosmos for stuff. Truth is I'm a bit apprehensive after that time Cosmos cowped me into a puddle.

*There are no curtains in Springhill
**It is customary in the country to close curtains/draw down blinds in the event of wakes etc.
***Wee Harry is Pearlie's minister

A Walk In The Rain

Despite this afternoon’s driving rain I gathered myself up, put on a waterproof jacket and announced to Bert and Clint that I was going for a walk.

“It’s lashing!” cried Bert, “Ye’ll get drooked,” warned Clint. I said I didn’t care, that I wasn’t made of salt and wouldn’t melt in the rain. I was having trouble convincing the dogs but you need a dog with you in wet weather otherwise you’d look like a madwoman. Eventually Paddy took pity on me and removed himself, very reluctantly, from the front of the fire.

I drove down to Cully and took the river path. Right down beside the river I veered off the path to walk under the trees. It was slippery and I took the precaution of cosmically ordering a fall-proof walk. After a bit I went back onto the path, promptly lost my footing and went flat on the broad of my back. As I reclined in a puddle, looking up at the grey clouds hiding the Cosmos above me, I thought to myself, “What went wrong?” Then I realised that my request was applicable only while I was off the beaten track and that my protection was lifted as soon as I took my very first step back on to the path . It was then I knew that the Cosmos was having a bloody good laugh at my expense. What else could I do but laugh along with it?