Friday, October 03, 2008

My Pen Poised

I like doing stuff online. I do my banking there, pay my credit card, buy dog licences, book flights and MOT vehicle tests.

I like doing these things online because it is convenient, time-saving, avoids silly boring journeys to dreary offices where you have to stand in line. And best of all cuts down on that human-to-human interaction stuff which can be so soul-destroying. I know some people like talking to humans but I get enough of that in my day job. I can't stand the sing-song way they talk to you when they ask you the boring questions that they ask a hundred, thousand times a week. I hate the way they say things like, "Have you got your wee security number?" or, "Do you need a wee pen to sign that?"

So imagine my annoyance when trying to book an MOT test this morning I had to end up going back to the telephone and Ms Brisk with her 'polite' Ballamena accent.

OK - I was disgruntled and cheesed off at having to go through the whole rigmarole again. And it all seemed so boring. We got to the bit where she wanted to give me a booking number. I said,

Won't that be on the letter?

Yes but I still have to give it to you. In case the letter doesn't reach you.

Right.

It's 9-9-2-6

Right thanks.

No wait. There's more. You'll need to write it down.

Right.

I say nothing else. She says nothing else. Then...

Are you ready?

Yes. I'm sitting here pen poised.

What?

Sitting here with my pen poised.

There's no need to be so rude!

Rude? Brusque maybe. Impatient perhaps. Mildly sarcastic yes. I suppose that was a bit rude.

Humourless trollop. Why doesn't she do what I do? Smile sweetly whilst talking to the fuckers then turn the air blue when I hang up.

8 comments:

evilganome said...

I'm slap up beside you with taking care of all the boring details of life online.

At least you got a real live chipper helper on the phone instead of one of those computer generated voices that never understands a word you say. Though, you can scream a stream of obscenities at the robot voice and not get yourself into trouble.

Grannymar said...

You should always have a pen poised and a safety pin handy in case the elastic goes in your knickers!

Nelly said...

I told Matty this story at lunchtime and she laughed her head off.

Grannymar - you would hardly need a safety pin - sure you're always surrounded by toyboys - they'd surely take care of your dosed knicker elastic for you.

sageweb said...

I do everything online...except..you know what. But I havent ruled it out. Some of those Indian ladies that work for customer service sound pretty sexy.

yellowdog granny said...

i like talking to people up front and personal...that way they get to actually see the crazy glint in my eye instead of guessing that I might be a tad off on the phone..i get fast service and no one dicks with me..

fiwa said...

I smile and talk sweetly while waving my middle finger around. And then slam the phone down. It's amazing how theraputic a good phone slam can be... but I guess that will be lost to the world as everyone switches to cordless and cell phones. They'll never know what they missed.

Frank B said...

I agree with you totally. I've been doing most of my business on line so long that I'd forgotten the 'other side' until reading your post. I love the fact that I can, at any time, take care of business, check my account, and all of that. I even buy shoes on line now.

Hagelrat said...

damn. some people really need to get a perspective on rude!