Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Four Years On

The last Leap Year's Day was on a Friday which was just perfect. The week's work done and the very night for a nice relaxing drink or four and an unplanned proposal to the Love of my Life. He didn't wriggle out of it and, if God spares us, we are celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary this coming August.

Davy Jones

It's easy to mock the attraction that many young girls have for performers such as Justin Bieber. The fact is many of us not so young ones had our own version of the baby-face crush. Through the years there have been many of them - David Cassidy, Donny Osmond and way, way back in the day Davy Jones, the Monkees front man. Davy was a teeny-tiny English boy, trying to make his way as an actor when he auditioned for The Monkees TV show. The show was wildly successful and Davy became a pin up. I was one of his hundreds of thousands of fans.

In those days we didn't get to hear every detail of our hero's life. We only got to hear what publicists told us. Our crush was a blank canvas on which our innocent, or not so innocent fantasies could be projected. We did not have to deal with glamorous girlfriends, paternity suits or tales of drunkenness and debauchery. Davy and his ilk were the boys next door, the ones that could be introduced to Mum, who would, of course, disapprove of the long hair but would admire every other aspect of their being.

I bought the Monkees fanzine and relished every lying word. I was thirteen and hadn't discovered Radio Geronimo. Eventually my tastes changed and I transferred my affections to Mickey Dolenz. By fifteen I had outgrown the Monkees entirely.

Davy grew up, lost his teenage heart throb looks, got fatter and died. Those baby face boys don't usually make for handsome men. Donny Osmond might be an exception to that rule but that's Mormon clean living for you, or botox - who knows?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Charlie Gets The Snip

We took Judy and Charlie to the vet's office this morning. Judy just needed to be micro-chipped but Charlie needed to be micro-chipped, vaccinated and rendered infertile. Shortly before we left Judy went out and got a little fresh cattle dung around her neck. I expect she wanted to smell good for the vet. We didn't notice the stink until we were half way there and it was too late to turn back. Still - if a vet cannot handle the smell of shit, then she is in the wrong job.

Vet's waiting rooms are different from other waiting rooms. At the doctor or the solicitor people sit there ignoring each other but at the vet's we're all chatting about our pets and going into the most graphic detail about their symptoms. Mind you Bert's Aunt Nessie used to do that at the doctor's waiting room - I remember this one time she described her chronic constipation problem in horrible detail to a roomful of strangers. I was mortified beyond belief and hoped they'd all think I was a paid carer rather than a relative.

When it was our turn we thought it would take about four people to hold the Judester down for she doesn’t like procedures but in the event it took just us and one very skilful vet to get that little chip into her. I am sure she doesn't even know she had a procedure. She strutted out all happy and cocky as if she had avoided a terrible ordeal.

And of course she got to go home while poor Charlie had to stay. Bert thought she was delighted to have been part of the team that had disposed of him. Dogs can be rather callous.

For some reason, and I know it's not a sensible reason, I feel bad about having male dogs neutered. I have no problem with bitches. I'm certain it is a relief for them not having to have seasons and puppies and all that bother. But males are a different matter. Somehow it seems that their horniness is part of what they are. Am I sexist for thinking this? But sanity has to prevail. Much as I like the idea of intact male dogs I do not like their marking and potential aggression and having them run the country after bitches on heat for days on end. Also, I do not want to be responsible for unwanted puppies being born. There are enough unwanted dogs in the country.

So - Charlie is neutered, micro-chipped and vaccinated. I guess we'll have to keep him now. He's lying on the sofa behind me as I type, still groggy from the anaesthetic and very glad to be back in his Forever Home.

Friday, February 24, 2012


Some pictures from a few years ago. I think some strong drink might have been taken.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Captcha Begone!

It was brought to the attention of the Management that visitors to Nelly's Garden wishing to leave comments were being provoked, frustrated and annoyed by that irritating word verification captcha thing.

The Management values visitors and commenters and has tried its damnedest to disable offensive sights like the one pictured at the top of this post. The Management trusts that you, the reader and would-be commenter, will inform us of any further annoyances of this sort.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Shrove Tuesday

Pancake Tuesday again and Bert is using up all our fat, flour, eggs and sugar before the Lenten Fast.

Insert 'What a Tosser' quip here.

To tell the truth these pancake pictures are from a year or so back. Bert is not here right now - he is off out at Greenmount College searching for a horticulturist missing in action.

Meanwhile back at the ranch no pancakes have been cooked. I have batter sitting reading to rock and Pearlie will be having pancakes for lunch. She will not be pleased but we have run out of that plastic white bread she relishes.

And, to tell more truth, if today's treat was to reflect my proposed Lenten Fast the pancakes would be laced with red wine and chocolate. I'm hopping on the wagon for Lent. Can't say I'm looking forward to it but I watched part of a TV programme last night that has put me off the notion of liver and onions for a good long while.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Secret Life Of An Intellectual

Last Read: Today's Times 'Booze Brittania' and it seems like I'm one of those hidden middle-class alcoholics.

Book I'm Currently Reading: The Time Traveller's Wife and for the second time. I don't remember the first time, just remember liking it.

Television programmes recently watched: An episode of 'Hoarders' and an episode of 'Louie'.

Last movie I watched: The Time Traveller's Wife which is why I'm re-reading.

Audio book I'm listening to: Kings and Queens of England narrated by Antonia Fraser. On James I.

Last magazine I perused: Woman's Realm June 1959.

Last music I listened to: Daniel Barenboim conducting the Chicago Symphony playing 'Enigma Variations'.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Romantic Meal For Two And Counting...

Rod comes in just as we're finishing dinner. I admit to being on my second glass of wine and not knowing where I'm going to find the get-up-and go to bake Music Night Scones. He says,

Just right you are! A nice romantic St Valentine's meal for two then?

There were three of us actually and just the two fellows watching us.

This is par for the course at Nellybert's - if you come in when we're about to eat we'll offer you some and, if you decline, we'll allow you to watch us scoffing anyway.

We had cottage pie made with own minced pig, own spuds and swede and own haricot beans from freezer. That was the last of the frozen home-grown vegetables, the hungry gap is here. Music Night Scones got made and are just about to be served.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


We had the Senior Dog, Paddy, humanely put down last Thursday. He'd been in a decline for the past year but had really started to fail this past few weeks. I'd say things like, "I don't think Paddy's long for this world," but he'd keep plodding on although his sight and hearing was almost away. It was two days before the end that I actually realised that he was dying. He didn't seem to be in any pain but you never know. He was certainly getting weaker. He couldn't jump on the sofa and he could hardly stand when he went outside to pee. He kept going round in circles before he'd lie down. he didn't look comfortable. He was starting to go off his food. On Thursday morning I made him a scrambled egg with butter. He ate half of it. Normally he'd have gobbled a delicacy like that. It was his last meal. Less than an hour later I made a very fast decision and called the vet.

She came to the house. Bert put Paddy to rest in the garden just after two o'clock.

Ever since I've been in pieces. I don't know why. I've lost lots of pets over the years but none have affected me like this. I think it was because it was done so quickly. But that is what we are supposed to do isn't it? Prevent them from suffering.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Paddy's Blog

An old blog post from 2008

Hi fans. Paddy here. I disremember the actual day I was pupped but, like Queenie, I have an official birthday and it is this very day - St Patrick's Day. It's four years now since Nelly and DeeMac sprung me from the Crosskennan Animal Shelter - and four happy years they have been for Nellybert et al. For it's damn lucky they were to be blessed with a fine animal like myself.

You know if it hadn't been for DeeMac (so beautiful, so wise) I might not have been living with the Nellyberts at all. Family folklore has it that Nelly was reluctant to pick me on the grounds that I looked too much like Danny. Don't know why that should have been a problem but as those who know her will agree our Nelly's a bit on the mental side.

That's myself and oul Dan above. Which is which you'll be asking? Well I'm the young snake-hipped sexy looking one and Danny's the oul fat-arsed mental looking one.

Of course I wasn't here long before Bert accidentally ran Dan over with the van. Old codger was completely deaf, half-blind and crippled so was happy for him maybe. Even so we were all very sad. Them ones buried him in the garden and I often visit his grave to remember the oul fellow.

That's all for now folks. I'll look out some more of the oul photos and maybe do another post before long. Nighty night.

Me at Danny's grave

To be continued.


Paddy - Mountain Dog, originally uploaded by NellyMoser.

Paddy - who shared our life from 17th March 2004 until 9th February 2012.

Rest in peace old son. You will be missed

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Tough Times

I heard today that two young women, both close to me, one very close, are facing unemployment through restructuring and redundancy. These are hard times indeed.

And closer to home our oldest dog Paddy is showing all the impending signs of decline and fail.

I'm not feeling particularly cheerful today.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Nowhere To Sit

It was only today that I was saying to Bert that I do not know how people who keep too many pets cope. It must make life very difficult for them. I know I wouldn't like it. The noise, the hair, the clamour, the cat fights, the expense and the dirt. Just a very few animals are quite enough for Nellybert. Or so I tell myself.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Dead Men's Tales

We had some very sad news this morning. Bert's Aunt phoned to tell us that she'd heard that Paddy, an old family friend, had been found dead in his garden a couple of days ago, no one knew how long he'd lain there. Bert went very quiet. He'd known Paddy all his life.

A little later he was wondering what would happen to Paddy's dogs. There were at least three of them, one a quiet house dog and the other two wild, cross collies.

Pearlie is on one of her regular respite visits to the nursing home and it is up in the general direction of Paddy's house. After he'd visited with his mother and given her the unhappy news of the old fellow's demise he decided to drive past Paddy's isolated home to see if his dogs were O.K. He found the front door lying open and gingerly, in case the cross dogs were loose, he entered the house. And there was Paddy sitting in front of a roaring fire enjoying a cigarette! Reports of his death were very exaggerated.

Paddy told Bert this tale. A few nights back the house dog wakened him with a gentle yip. He crept out of bed and peeked out the window. There were three intruders lurking about outside. He pulled on his trousers, slipped out and loosened the shed door where the wild dogs slept. Then he slipped back into the house and stood at a window to watch the proceedings. He told Bert he'd never ever seen boys move as fast and that the yelps of them were shocking. He said he doesn't expect the would-be burglars back any time soon.

Happy Birthday Leitrim Sister

Hope you have a good one Dede.