For once I've got lots of things to write about and they are all so very interesting that I don't know where to begin. Oh! I do know where to begin - where I always begin. A List.
- Just Because It's A Heatwave Doesn't Mean You're Allowed To Wear Your Bra As A Top!
- The Joy of Watering.
- Chasing the Piglet.
The first topic is actually Hannah's and refers to a lady d'un certain age and voluptuous proportions who thought that an ill-fitting bikini top was an appropriate garment to go shopping in. May I hastily point out that it certainly wasn't me, as I am a desprit hoor for modesty and wouldn't be seen dead in a bikini of any colour or shape. Quite frankly I'd rather go naked.
And Hannah said, that to make matters worse, the bikini top was a horrible brown colour. And that the unfortunate creature was eating a sausage roll. Bert said she'd probably chosen brown so that the HP sauce stains wouldn't show.
Anyways I think I might have found Mrs Brown Bikini's discarded shopping list when I was In Tescos with Matty. Did I ever tell youse that I love noseying at other people's shopping lists? Handwritten ones are the best.
- SAUSAGE ROLLS
- TEA BAGS