Friday, June 19, 2009

The Temptation of Nelly

I have heard that practitioners of Feng Shui would have it that the attic area of our homes represents our hopes and dreams for the future, and that an attic bunged solid with the usual detritus and junk blocks those hopes and dreams. With this in mind I plugged myself into the translater’s notes for Don Quixote and headed for the poor man’s Aladdin’s Cave that is our roofspace. Oh the stuff! And we’ve only been here a few years. After twenty minutes I had managed to throw out three things, had rearranged several more and decided to allow Bert’s grandfather back down the stairs. His reappearance will annoy Pearlie as she didn’t get on with him. Now the only thing to decide is whether to hang him in her room or just outside it. Just outside it would probably be best as I make a point without being too cruel.

 

I was just wondering what to do with Bert’s old pram when that very face appeared at the top of the staircase.

 

“Do you feel like being naughty?” he enquired.

 

Naturally my first instinct was to kick him back down the stairs. However I refrained, pointed to my headphones and roared, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

 

He said, “No! Not that kind of naughty.” and produced ice cream. What could I do? I ate it. I’m finding it so very hard to resist temptation these days.

 

Then there was the other day. Hannah made one of her yummy curries and I had a good helping with rice and naan bread. That should have been enough for me. But no – next thing Jakers produces a gigantic slab of caramel shortcake and waves it under my nose. I say, “Oh no. I shouldn’t.” He says, “It’s OK. It’s not cake or anything,” I had to agree. It may have been a concoction of sugar, fat, flour, condensed milk and chocolate but it wasn’t actually CAKE. So I ate it.

 

Then there’s all the sweets and biscuits that Bert and Hannah bring into the house. I tell them to hide it from me so that I won’t be tempted. And they do. They hide it in the second drawer down in the wee red IKEA cabinet in the TV room. And sometimes they even leave the drawer open so that I can see that they've hidden it. 

5 comments:

evilganome said...

Best of luck. I am trying to quit smoking and I've already put on 4 lbs.

Grannymar said...

Eating chocolate is the price you pay for hanging Bert's Grandfather! ;)

Nelly said...

Evilganome - Stopping smoking is GOOD. You can deal with the weight gain later.

Grannymar - Bert's grandfather has a very severe expression. Maybe I should hang him over the wee red IKEA cabinet.

Anna said...

Ah, dear Nelly, the world is out to lead us into temptation. My sweetie is always bringing me a "bite" because he knows I have no will power. I don't think you have Costco stores in Ireland, do ya? When we go to shop they have people on every aisle cooking and handing out delicious morsels and samples of everything from steak, crab, cheese and pasta to fresh fruit, desserts, drinks and chocolate. On a weekend before a major holiday they stretch out a smorgasboard fit for royalty and they don't care how many times you return for a sample. Needless to say, we love to shop there. We usually buy something we never intended because we liked the sample. I mention this because we went grocery shopping at Costco today and I am stuffed. My resolve crumpled with the first cream puff.

Brighid said...

Temptation, where would we be without it? Not so blessed I'm thinking.
We have a Costco near us as well, but we call it the Pensioners Buffet. I've been run over by little ol folk trying to get to the freebies. Himself with the broken ankle, has learned to keep a wary eye out for them.