Matty: You know, you left your Tescos receipt here the other week...
Me: Did I?
Matty: I had a wee look at it.
Me: Did you?
Matty: That gin's wild dear.
Me: D'ye think?
Matty: I nearly fainted when I saw the price of it!
Me: It was probably a litre bottle.
Matty: A whole litre!
Me: Aye. Mind you that would probably do me about ten days. (thinks - more like seven)
Matty: Just you yourself drinking it?
Me: Oh no! Me and Bert both. (thinks - he might be so lucky)
Matty: Oh well. That's not just as bad then.
Me: it's better than wine. Don't drink as much of it and it's not as fattening. (thinks - I need a drink)
Matty: That's not so bad then.
Me: (thinks she's thinking - Nelly's an alcoholic)
So on the way home I stopped at Tescos and bought some buttermilk and mozzarella and... cheers!