Thursday, November 05, 2009

Where The Dead Things Are

Some might say that I’m a morbid person because of my keen interest in road kill. It’s a fascination that stems from my childhood. Doesn’t everything?

In those days I had a favourite cousin who truly was a mine of misinformation. We were visiting her house one day and she says,

There’s a dead RAT stuck in the hedge down the lane. Do you want to see it?

Oh yes!

It’s really rotten and it’s stinking too!


C’mon then…

We headed down the lane.

We’re coming near it now.

Where? Where?

It’s down there under that tree. Now hold your nose.


Because if you breathe in the smell of it you’ll DIE!

On we went, me holding tight to my nose and not daring even to open my mouth. My face was purple and my eyes were popping with the effort of holding my breath. I tried so very hard to see the dead rat but it must have been covered in long grass and I was frightened to get too close, so never got a glimpse nor a whiff of it at all.

Of course I passed this interesting information on to my other cousins and my brothers and sisters.

You must never breathe in the smell of a stinking dead animal, or you'll DIE!

They weren’t as gullible as me for we all walked to and fro school along the Lisnevenagh Road where the Burnhouse trucks with their loads of dead animal carcasses passed often enough, leaving behind a miasma of putrid reek that hung in the air long after the lorry passed and none of us ever died of the stink of dead animals, not even one of us. So far.

This photograph taken on the Pipe Road during the 2009 Spring heatwave

When I was a child I'd have walked five miles to see this dead lamb melted into the tarmac. I still would. And I'd take a photograph too.


Anonymous said...

i tink norfolk must be the capital for road kill in the uk. outtside the city you can find any number of dead birds, foxes, badgers, deer. people actually live off road kill.

hootchinhannah said...

I'm glad I'm not the only person to have noticed the insane roadkill in Norfolk. Katkins told me that she had contributed to it. I think it was a pheasant.

Brighid said...

There is a lovely picture that my DIL took of a roadkill varmit. The stripe painting guys just painted the line over it. They could'nt be bothered to get out of their truck and remove it. We chuckled for days.

Nelly said...

Brighid - I'd love to see that picture.

Hannah & Anon - I killed a pheasant once. Slowed down to avoid the first one that ran out of the hedge and hit the second. Then one evening last week I hit a rabbit. I may be interested in roadkill but it depresses me to make it so.

Brighid said...

The picture she took is on it's way via e-mail. lol

evilganome said...

Here's the very book for you!

Bailey White writes some very funny stories about her family and one particularly funny story about road kill.

Nelly said...

That picture was hilarious Brighid.

Thanks for the link Evilganome. I'm putting it on my wish list!