Thursday, April 26, 2012


When someone you love is nearing the end of their life everything else narrows. The wider world dims and becomes unimportant.

This time last year our mother, our beloved Matty, had slipped into coma and we were, as we say in Ireland, awaiting on. What do I remember? I remember that on the roads from my house to her house the verges were smothered in dandelion blooms. I remember how good our friends, neighbours and relations were. I remember the devotion and care of her priest, her doctor, the Marie Curie nurses and her carers. I remember walks in bluebell woods with one sister or another as we sought respite from her dying.

I knew nothing of the devastating tornadoes in the United States nor of the floods in Colombia. I was barely aware of the Arab Spring. The impending wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton was an irrelevance. Some months afterwards as I leafed through a magazine featuring their wedding I found myself wondering why I hadn't seen anything of it on television. After all, it must have been saturation coverage. Then I remembered. I was at my mother's funeral on that day.


Mage said...

I didn't meet you until afterwords. Her death was of far greater importance than a wedding.

Michele said...

I am terribly sorry for the loss of your Matty. I found you and your lovely writing years ago through ( but had not been back to "visit" in a shocking amount of time. Your clarity and your humor are immensely helpful for other folks going through similar things.

I'll raise a glass to you and yours.
Michele Mulholland France (Yank)

Nelly said...

Thank you both.

Clairenewcastle said...

The first anniversary is always the worst.
After that, I've found that all the cliches about grief that people use because they don't know what else to say - eg, "Time is a great healer - tend to be true to a certain extent.
It was the 19th anniversary of my father's death from cancer on the 19th of April so I know what you're going through.

Nelly said...

Thanks Claire - I think you must be right. It's what I'm hoping for anyway. My sister and I had a lovely day together yesterday. There were a lot of laughs and a few tears. I felt, at times, that she was still there in spirit.

easydoesit said...

I visit your site from time since I came upon your blog about whammeling a banty and envy your rare and extremely entertaining ability to tell it how it is.I was sorry to learn that your dear Matty is no longer with you.Time doesnt suddenly change things,but will dull the pain and bring the pleasure of all those fond memories to the fore. Hope you will forgive my intrusion. Keep well.

Nelly said...

Easydoesit - Thank you for your lovely comment which is not an intrusion at all but very welcome.