Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Chocolate Is Slimming

Spotted yesterday in Harryville

At lunchtime - several groups of dangerously obese people waddling from all points of the compass towards the Bluebell Cafe where, no doubt, they intended to consume a 'big feed'.

Afternoon - a group of slender young men 'fashionably' dressed in tracksuits and baseball caps and accessorised with glue bags, who were getting seriously wasted on waste ground.

My Conclusion

The Bluebell Cafe is fattening.
Sniffing glue is slimming.

I may write a diet manual some of these afternoons. I hear they are a licence to print money. And Swisser can help me. After all she is some sort of a food scientist. She'll not be able to be name-checked as the book could destroy her academic reputation. So I get all the dosh.

I think I shall steal one of her ideas for a chapter. The one where she insists that chocolate is a slimming agent. I think people would like that. And it's not even as if there will be any comeback from the punters for diets and diet manuals never work anyway.


ed said...

Ah, I miss living near to Ballymena. No, really, I do. Honest.

And surely a diet manual would take more than an afternoon to write. At least a whole day.

Nelly said...

You could do the draft in an afternoon.