Nelly: What's your ma want for her tea?
Bert: Two boiled eggs.
Nelly: Do you want me to do them?
Bert: No. They have to be perfect.
Bert: So she said she wanted a fried egg and a bit of bacon. I cooked it for her perfectly. Just the way she likes it. Crispy bacon, runny yolk. Made her toast, cut the crusts off for her. Brought it over to her, set it own in front of her and said I was going to make us both a cup of tea. Told her I'd sit with her while she was eating.
Nelly: Fair play to you there.
Bert: So I made the tea and brought it into her. She's sitting there glaring at her supper like it was rank poison. I says to her, "Are ye not going to eat that?" She says, "Ye put it on an oul coul plate! Ye might have heated the plate!"