Sunday, January 29, 2012

Saving Teddy From The Flames

Are you sentimentally attached to this old bear or shall I throw him out?

Ach! Throw him out.

Are you sure? Would you like me to open the fire door right now and burn him in front of you?

Bert goes silent. Then answers,

No I wouldn't like that.

Teddy must be at least 50 years old. He is a bit disgusting and his stuffing (whatever that is) appears to have atrophied inside his body. He's as flat as a pancake and not a pretty sight.

Hannah and I decide to perform emergency surgery.

The stuffing is pretty horrible. Bert thought it was sawdust but it seems to be some sort of foam rubber and it has undergone a chemical change. By rights this bear should be blazing in the fire.

Yucky stuff. It sticks on our fingers. We decide that no child must ever come in contact with this hazardous bear or, at least, not until they've had all their injections.

We stuff him with old cut up purple tights. It takes four pairs! And Teddy is still still pretty flat.

But at least Bert is pleased.


Grannymar said...

Well done for breathing new life into Bert's teddy!

Nelly said...

I'm sure you'd have made a far better job of it!

Mage said...

Bravo! :)

ganching said...

How come you had four pairs of old purple tights?

Nelly said...

Going cheap in Asda many years ago.

Natalie Vaughan said...

I loved this blog!

Nelly said...

Thank you Natalie!