Easter In Cully

In The Village

Many of the good people of Cullybackey and its surrounding town lands attend Easter Sunday services in the Cunningham Memorial.

Less Sunday-observant folk visit the Mace supermarket for Sunday papers and other sundries.

Outside Wylie’s Bar a fight erupts. A group of spides, quite unaware of the meaning of Easter, are engaged in beating and kicking some poor unfortunate to the ground.

Meanwhile young Laura The Wee Manny, newly possessed of a driving licence, drives her parents through the village and is so mesmerised by the scenes of violence that unfold before her that she nearly drives into a lamp post. Only the roar of her mother in the back seat brings her to her senses. Her father, contented with organic chicken, rhubarb crumble, wine and Bushmills sees nothing amiss.

Outside The Village

Some of the good people of the Killyless Road are patting their big bellies after a good Easter lunch and a surfeit of chocolate Easter eggs. Stretching their legs in their back yards they see Bert Clematis-Grower and the Wee Manny stride purposefully through Bertram Acres with four fine and mannerly dogs at their heels.

‘What fine-looking fellows,’ they exclaim to each other, ‘But lo! Is that The Wee Manny fallen upon his arse? Tis! Now down goes Bert Clematis-Grower. And see! Now the Wee Manny is flat upon his face. That surely must be rough and uneven ground upon which they tread that they should stumble so.’