Monday, November 27, 2006

Butter Wouldn't Melt In Her Mouth

Bonnie likes butter and she likes butter substitutes. I'm learning not to leave any on the kitchen surfaces. Learning the hard way that is. I forgot to put it all away this morning before I went to work and Bert was wakened once again by the sound of breaking glass and delpht. She ate half a pound of unsalted butter, a quarter tub of Golden Cow spread and half a cottage pie. She smashed a Pyrex dish, my cereal bowl (a particularly nice one) and a lovely old Devonware butter dish. All in all about 16 quids worth of crockery and foodstuffs.

Did I mention that we've decided to keep her? But you knew that was going to happen, didn't you?


hootchinhannah said...

Ok so now that's settled, when are you getting your new cat?

Unknown said...

What, was there some point where your keeping of Bonnie was in doubt?

Nelly said...

Cat specifications:

essential -

8 weeks old (to maximise its training as dog)
large (in order to fight dogs)
vicious (ditto)
male (see above)

preferred -

long tail

Ed - I told myself that we weren't keeping Bonnie and that we were going to find her a great home. Then I realised that this was her great home.

Sandra said...

What's that crackling noise? Is that the sound of her arteries hardening?

Nelly said...

Don't dogs die of old age before their arteries harden? Or do theirs harden seven times faster than ours?

We need a blogger veterinary expert, female or otherwise.

I'm not planning to feed her butter forever but she might have other ideas.

Hageltoast said...

she's lovely and we all knew the desperate attempt to give her away was an equally desperate attempt to fool yourselves. ;)
HAppy cat hunting.

Unknown said...

Happy cat hunting

Was that directed at Nelly, or at Bonnie?

Nelly said...

Directed at me - Bonnie is as gentle as a lamb. The only way she'd eat a cat would be if it were basted in butter.

Anonymous said...

we used to have a dog like that - ed remember shadow? Long haired german shepard - she was great, playful and ate a kitchen to pieces cuz she was bored - poor dog

Man i miss her!

Nelly said...

I didn't know I'd like German Shepherds but I do. Bonnie is fantastic. There isn't a vicious bone in her.

Did your dog pong Joe? Bonnie reeks.

Unknown said...

Shadow was indeed a fine pooch. In fact, upon seeing the first photos of Bonnie, I thought for half a second that they might be one and the same. Especially with the posing on a kitchen floor.

But then I realised that the kitchen floor was unmunched, and therefore Shadow mustn't have been there.

Nelly said...

What happened to Shadow? Old age?

Unknown said...

No, she had to be re-homed, due to a fairly serious allergic reaction on the part of the owner. Crying shame, but probably the best for all concerned. Especially since the wee bitch then went to live in a large farm somewhere, as opposed to the small suburban garden she was used to.

Nelly said...

Where was this? Not near Portglenone I hope?

Unknown said...

I don't think so. More Templepatrick/Ballyclare direction.