One Single Malt To Go

I went to Tescos with Matty last night. I am finding her very hard to control when we're out together. She is very wilful and keeps wandering off. I may have to put her on leading reins.

We were approaching the checkouts in tandem and I positively whizzed my stuff through, all the better to help her with hers. Job done in super quick time, despite the handicap of having a particularly langourous youth at the till, and I looked round for my old mum. She was nowhere to be seen. Now, as you will have noticed, most elderly ladies look the same and at the beginning of my mother's advance into old age I found it difficult to pick her out in a crowd. Over the years I have trained myself to take note of her coat colour, scarf, anything really to help me to pick her out. Last night she was wearing a light grey jacket with a rather nice dusky pink scarf. With that in mind I scanned the aisles once, twice, thrice. Had she slipped past me? Was she buying another scratch card at customer services? No. Scanned the aisles again, not buying a scratch card. I returned to the shop floor. Perhaps she'd collapsed. Any second now I was going to be called over the intercom. Matty would be lying there croaking, 'Get Nelly,' and then the tinny voice would ring out, 'Can Nelly come to Cooked Meats please. Your mother has took not one bit well...'

Twice I did the circuit of that shop going everywhere except the off-licence. On my third go round I decided to look there too in case she'd wandered in there by mistake.

Eventually I found her slipping past the checkout looking furtive. I pretended I wasn't worried at all and it turned out that she'd only returned to the clothing department to buy herself a cardi.

Note to Daughters: That's a good tip about taking note of what the parent is wearing when she becomes indistinguishable from all the other old dears. It's only a matter of time!



All Christmas presents bought except for one bottle of single malt and one bottle of fine wine and as any fule knows - those are the easy ones.

I bought everything online or second hand.

Now does anyone know where I can acquire a second hand upright piano in fair condition?