Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Little Diva Pooper Parties
A Beauty Parlour has opened in the village in which I work. There is a pink poster in its window which announces 'Little Diva Pamper Parties'. You can imagine my disgust. I daresay this village is full of little divas (in my day we called them brats) but the last thing they need is encouragement with 'pamper parties'. I have a far better idea that would encourage the 'little divas' to be useful members of society. This village is also full of people who don't clear up after their pooches. I would gather up a party of divas, dress them in pink tutus, pink wellington boots and pink rubber gloves and provide them with pink rubbish bags and send them out lifting dogshite. I reckon the spectacle would shame those criminals who allow their dogs to cover the place in dog-doings. Afterwards we'd party like it's 1999.
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7 comments:
We get people in the costume shop that want to rent the place to have "dress up" parties for their own little "divas."
The whole "princess" thing is all wrong! I see little girls out shopping with their moms wearing tiaras and high heels and tutus. What are these parents thinking? Some seem proud of the brattiness of their girls: "she's one of the picky ones..."
There's a TV show here called "Toddlers and Tiaras," which is a reality show in which small girls compete in beauty pageants. It's disgusting! Kids as young as 3 wearing wigs, and getting pedicures, and doing little dances to tunes like "Shake Your Tailfeather."
Ick.
Nelly, you seem to be having a bit of a series of bad tempered rants: are the pigs making you very stressed?
Ronni - I totally agree. Icky-ick-ick to little divas and princesses.
Ed - since you're getting so mellow and loved-up someone has to do the ranting. And the pigs - they are wonderful. If it wasn't for their sweet, soothing snuffle-grunt ways I'd have gone postal weeks ago.
Well, for the sake of your mental health I'll do my best to return to my old fashioned ranting ways.
In other news - I've just noticed that I'm now tagged as "helicopter man" and not "wise beyond his years"; I'm faced with the possibility that either my advancing years have not been matched by my static wise-ness, or being loved-up has caused me to be less wise. Which one is true, do you think?
Who wants to be a 'wise-guy' anyway? That state of loved-upness will be doing you no harm at all. It's kinda wonderful. A bit like flying helicopters I'd imagine. Me? I never even flew a kite. But you can't have everything. I have my pigs....and Bert.
Nelly & Ronni,
I Agree with the totally disgusting diva/brat thing. I watched Toddlers and Tiaras once. What is even more disgusting than the kids are their mostly very unattractive mothers in the audiencce pantomiming each movement along with them. Absurd...
I like the poo-scooper idea. :-)
If you get that to happen you have to video it and stick it on youtube.
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