It's All Over Now

 

I feel a bit churlish for ranting in my previous post about my jury service - especially since, from that day forward, I was never called again.

Of course, there were several more days that I had to go online at 5pm to check but as time went on I became more relaxed about it. Then came the best 5pm call-in. 

You have completed your jury service.

And y'know the next thing I thought of?

This calls for a celebratory glass (or three) of wine.

Which was odd as I had been on the dry for over 10 weeks. See! I'm still counting.

Needless to say the urge for wine quickly passed and it has now been 11 weeks since I last had an alcoholic drink.

And I've lost 15 pounds because I'm off the sweeties too.  Losing weight in one's later years is not all it is cracked up to be. I have turkey neck!

 

Jury Service

Monday marks the beginning of my fourth week of tedious, dreary jury service. I don’t like it. I wish I had played the age card and got out of it. 

Why so?

Most of us aren’t needed. They call in about sixty people per group, but only around one in five might end up on a jury panel.

And – even if the panel is chosen and sworn in, a trial might not go ahead.

While we wait – for hours, sometimes – we’re in a grim room, sitting in rows on hard, unforgiving chairs. After about thirty minutes, I start getting cramps. We can be stuck there for three hours or more, doing nothing, waiting for something that may never take place.

Then in comes the Clerk of Court.

‘Thank you for your patience, everyone. You’re not needed today. Don’t forget to check the Juryline at 5 p.m.’

Ah yes, the other major inconvenience. We never know until 5 p.m. whether we’re required the next day, which means we can’t make plans – only tentative ones.

I use the dead time to catch up on my reading. I can’t be bothered chatting with my neighbours. I feel out of place. I’m fairly certain I’m the oldest person in the room – bound to be, really. Any sensible seventy-something would have played the age card and bowed out.

So why didn’t I? Bert says it’s fear of missing out. Maybe he’s right. But believe me, fellow oldies – it’s not worth it.

Remembering Matty on Mother's Day

Tyrone (written twenty years ago)

Getting Offside

The Kerry sister wanted to do a bit of decorating for Matty. Dutifully, I asked if she would like me to help her. Instead, she requested that I take Matty out for the day so she could get on with it.

So, we headed in the direction of Tyrone, stopping first for coffee in Draperstown. When I was a market trader, I visited Draperstown twice a month. I had always liked the town’s wide streets and the way it nestled among the foothills of the Sperrins. I loved the soft voices of the people. I also encountered my first transvestite in Draperstown—wearing a cheap wig and a dowdy cloth coat, far from glamorous, yet possessing a quiet dignity.

While we were there, Matty said she wanted to look at some shops. She led me into the most old-fashioned hardware store in the world. The only objects that could possibly have held the slightest interest for me were some Pyrex measuring jugs.

‘Can I help you?’ ventured the young assistant.

‘No, just looking,’ I replied. Looking at what? Coils of rope? Shovels? Galvanised buckets? Then Matty piped up, ‘But I thought this was a dress shop.’

Onwards to Tyrone—Land of My Ancestors

Gortin

Matty’s parents came from Tyrone. Granda’s family were from Moy, and Granny was born in Newtownstewart. While Granda’s people had migrated to Belfast in search of work, Granny spent her childhood in Plumbridge. There were cousins in Gortin, so to Gortin we went, as Matty reminisced about a wonderful holiday she and her sister had spent there in the summer of 1947 as guests of their mother’s cousin, Mamie. We found the road where Mamie had lived, but the lane was overgrown, and the cottage was long gone.

This is one of the joys of driving Matty around—she starts remembering and telling stories. As this journey was one she had taken many times with Daddy, some of the stories were particularly poignant. Once again, I listened to the tales of their meeting and courtship. She told me about the funny sayings and silly games they enjoyed as they traveled together. She recounted the wonderful holiday she had with Mamie. It had been her first time apart from Daddy since they had started going out, and she had written to him three times in two weeks.

‘Did he write back?’ I asked.

‘Not at all,’ she said. ‘Sure, he never wrote a letter in his life.’

Apparently, she had written to reassure him that she hadn’t run off with some Tyrone boy. For according to Matty—and I do not doubt her—she had been very popular with boys in her youth.

Hearing Matty’s stories, I sometimes feel envious of the times she lived in. That holiday in Gortin, a mere 60 miles from home, had been such a novelty for her. She told a story about how she and her sister, out on borrowed bikes and having gotten lost, met a group of young, kilted men, also on bicycles, returning from Twelfth of July celebrations. These fellows escorted them back to the right road, and she recalled how exotic it felt to be riding alongside a troop of Protestant boys in kilts—something that would have been unthinkable behavior at home.

Matty and I behaved very well in Tyrone. We waved at passers-by and were extremely courteous on the road. ‘After all,’ Matty said, ‘anyone here might be your cousin.’

On the way home, Matty asked me, ‘Do you ever look at the clouds and imagine you can see pictures in them?’

I replied, ‘Not while I’m driving.’

One From Nineteen Years Ago

 

Hannah has a new enemy although she remains at daggers drawn with her old enemy Evil Nat West. She declared war on Evil Northern Ireland Railway yesterday evening after one of their vile and smelly trains refused to let her off at Cullybackey. The door wouldn't open and she was whizzing off to Ballymoney before she knew it.

All that after a hard day at Nixt! and an evening session with the dentist. She had been so pleased to make the train as, ever the considerate daughter, she wanted to save me the trouble of picking her up in town.

But oh! The rage. Apparently, she gave the poor guard a right earful. And her with the frozen mouth and all. I bet he was scared. He refused to take any responsibility at all. All I could do as she raged all this down the phone to me was agree with her that NIR were evil and their employees all stupid. And of course, their trains are crap.

Bert the Wonderful volunteered to pick her up in Ballymoney. By the time he got her home, she had calmed down. A little.

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The above was posted in 2006 – a lifetime ago. Why, I was only a girl back then, rather than the decrepit old crone I am today.

We no longer think of NIR as evil; in fact, I took two train trips just this past week. The first was to Holywood, a town I had never visited before, and the second to Ballymoney, from where I continued on to Balnamore – a village I've never been to, despite it being a mere sixteen miles away.

I was going to see Leitrim Sister and her extended family and friends, who were staying in what was once Balnamore Hall – an intriguing house that I hope to visit again.

The main purpose of this visit was to meet the apple of Leitrim Sister's (and Dmitri's) eye a little fellow just two and a half. He was definitely the star of the show and well worth the journey.

Update

I was summoned to court for jury duty on Monday along with many others. I was not among the chosen few and did not need to attend in person for the rest of the week, which was just as well because Kerry Sister was Up North for the week.

On Tuesday we visited most of the local charity shops, with the one in Ahoghill being, by far the best.

On Wednesday, we visited Belfast, where we explored the Ulster Museum, the Tropical Ravine, the Palm House, the charity shops on Botanic Avenue, the Linen Hall Library, and An Cultúrlann on the Falls Road. We walked everywhere and had a thoroughly enjoyable day. 

Thursday, Friday - Kerry Sister made herself available to other family members, and I caught up on some house and garden chores. Thursday evening she called to my house and gave me a quick tutorial on the sewing machine that I've had for more than a decade but never used. Truth be told, I was scared of it. But not any more! Since that evening transformed a Monsoon dress into a skirt, a Laura Ashley one into a top and made myself some new PJ bottoms from an Ikea duvet cover. Looks like I've found a new hobby. 

Then yesterday, KS and I popped into the Factory Craft Shop, where I bought new scissors and a stitch unpicker. I'll definitely be needing that! 

What I thought would be a week filled with civic duties turned into a holiday instead - and I enjoyed every moment of it. More please!

Tomorrow is a bank holiday, St Patrick's Day so no court. Instead I'll go grocery shopping with Vee and I'll take a wee juke into the Factory Craft Shop. I need new blades for my rotary cutters. It seems if they are not used for five years (or more) they go blunt. Then I should be able to complete the patchwork quilt I started all those years ago.  

I will be in court again on Tuesday. Hope I'm not picked.

Hand-sewn quilt top made from Pearlie's aprons. I'll be finishing it on my not-so-scary-now electric sewing machine.

Gardening Time

 That’s my first day of jury service done, and as everyone should know, the first rule of jury service is – you do not talk about jury service. Today involved a lot of waiting around – and in the end, I wasn’t one of the chosen few. Phew!

I’m let off for tomorrow, too, which is just as well because Kerry Sister is Up North, and I will spend some time with her. I'm looking forward to it.

With her visit in mind, I had ventured out to the polytunnel on Sunday - my first proper working day there since Storm Eowyn ripped the cover off the middle bay. I wanted to tidy up my overwintered perennials in the hope that she’d take some off my hands.

Bert was working there too, and as usual was telling me about all the jobs I could be doing.

Those Sweet William could do with being planted out.

That honeysuckle needs cutting back. You could do that.

He always does this. I told him he was overwhelming me. He said I just don’t like being told what to do. I disagreed. However, after giving it some further thought, I realised we were both right - I did feel overwhelmed, and I definitely don’t like being told what to do.

One From Five Years Ago...

 ...just before lockdown.

Silly Spring

Merzy dotes and dozy dotes

And little cavvsy divy

A bird'll eat peanuts too,

Wouldn't you?

Dance like no one is watching

Play like no one is blogging

She said to him,

The Bann is great

It's not too late

To learn to swim

He said to her,

I would not dare

For I don't care

To wet my fur

What Chickens Think

There's a quare stretch in the evenings

It's nice to see a wee blink of sun

I wonder will the woman bring pizza again?

What Robins Think

Gardener - dig!

Any other robin comes near me I'll rip his head off!

Only 292 days to Christmas.

Masterclass

Martha and I went to Belfast yesterday. She had a masterclass at the Opera House, taught by Melissa Hamilton, a principal dancer with the Royal Ballet.

I took the train from Cullybackey; Martha boarded at Ballymena. For a moment, I didn’t recognise her. Her hair was pulled tight into a ballet bun, she was wearing contacts, and there was a light touch of makeup. She looked lovely.

I walked her to the front of the Opera House, where she was meeting a friend, and then set off for the shops. I had an hour to spare.

I went to the Seasalt sale, looked at everything, and bought nothing. In the next shop, I did the same- looked and walked away. There was something oddly satisfying about not buying.

For old times’ sake, I stopped by Fresh Garbage. At first glance, it was just the same - cluttered, dimly lit - but everything seemed tawdry, thrown together. The place was full of teenagers. I didn’t stay long and, of course, bought nothing.

For a short while, I sat on a bench in Royal Avenue and listened to a street preacher holding court. He railed against stealing, lying, and fornication—then warned against Muslims, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Rome. Muslim, he said, not Islam. That annoyed me. I felt an urge to walk over and tell him he was a narcissistic prick, but I didn’t feel up to making a scene.

My next stop was Waterstones – as I had a gift card worth ten pounds. I chose two short story collections, one by Kate Atkinson and one by Jan Carson. At last, something worth buying, and I only had to part with £9.98. Time to return to the Opera House.

Martha’s class had fifteen minutes left, so I took a seat in the auditorium to watch. It was a delight to see. Afterward, Miss Hamilton made sure each dancer had a photograph with her before they left the stage, all flushed with happiness. Martha wasn’t so tired that she wasn’t up for a walk to Botanic and she told me everything that she loved about the experience.

At Botanic we made a quick foray into the vintage shops, but unfortunately, coffee was unavailable across the whole of the avenue due to a water supply issue. I had to make do with apple juice but, despite that small setback, it was still a wonderful day.

Gossip

During a conversation with a friend, I mentioned that someone from our townland had suffered a serious financial setback many years ago. She was shocked to hear this and asked how I knew. I replied that I had heard it at home—local gossip.

"I never gossip," she said. "Nor does my family." I took this with a pinch of salt; everyone gossips.

The original person who had shared that information about another's finances was in our house again this morning. He told us that a house on our road had been bought by a lord. According to our friend, this ennobled and putative neighbour wished to be addressed by his proper title at all times.

Bert queried,

"And what would his proper title be? Your Lordship? Lordy?"

I replied,

"No! We'll call him Ballbeg. That's his proper title. But if he's a Scottish lord, we must call him Bawbag."

Crossing the Lagan

I crossed the River Lagan six times today, four times on the train, twice on foot.

The book I brought—because I never travel without one—was Transit by Rachel Cusk. Chosen as much for its weight as its content. I was further along than I had realised and finished it long before the journey’s end. That left me with nothing to do but look at the scenery.

I alighted at Botanic Station as I wanted to peruse the local charity shops. I was looking for an ecru sweater, something loose, to wear over the two forgotten Boden dresses I found in the attic. They had been there long enough to be practically vintage. I did not find a sweater. I bought books instead.

From there, the Asia Supermarket. A wok, some spices. Kimchi for Bert. It was a 35-minute walk via the Ormeau Bridge, or meant to be. Closer to 45 minutes in my case. So many woks, so many spices. I have a wok already, a large one, bought here years ago. It has served me well and will continue to do so. The new one is smaller, and useful when cooking for two.

It was disappointing that the cafe at Asia Supermarket was closed. I had been looking forward to a sit-down and something interesting to eat and drink.

My next destination was Lanyon Place Station, via the Ravenhill Road and Albert Bridge. Roughly 25 minutes. I was tired, thirsty and looking forward to some rest and refreshments at the station. And there it was. And all it had was Starbucks. I got an indifferent cappuccino and a truly bad cheese and ham ciabatta thing. Plastic ham and cheese and bread like sawdust. Never again.

Though I will return to Belfast. I will walk across bridges, along the Ravenhill Road. But I will never eat in Starbucks again. The coffee perhaps, in an emergency.

Having finished Transit (so good) I began another book, one I had bought on Botanic Avenue - I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O'Farrell. I have read it before, but a long time ago. It's worth another read. 

Valentine's Day

Nellybert doesn’t do Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Easter, or Anniversaries. Sure we barely do Christmas. But that didn’t stop me from teasing Bert about my absent flowers and chocolates when I returned from the town. I even claimed that the pineapple I’d bought was his Valentine's gift. It’s a good choice for it’s sweet and lasts longer than flowers.

If it hadn’t been for Bert’s recent diabetes diagnosis I would have used the occasion to buy wine and chocolates (for us both) but he’s cutting down hard on confectionery and alcohol and so am I. The shop was packed, with lots of solitary males buying flowers, chocolate and even one with an air fryer in his arms. My kind of fellow.

Then they all decided to leave at once. The queues for getting out of the car park were horrendous. If it hadn’t been for three separate drivers, two male, and one female, waving me through at bottlenecks I’d be sitting there still. Today, I observed that the drivers least likely to give way to another motorist were young women. Still, lucky there was an interesting programme on Radio 4 on Snowdrops which helped pass the time for me.

So folks, another time to avoid Tesco – the afternoon of St Valentine’s Day. Trust me on this.

Bog standard snowdrops, of no interest to a galanthophile.

One From 20 Years Ago: Clint Has Left The Room

 

The first person I knew with Internet access at home was Bert’s oldest friend Clint. All we knew of the Internet in those days was that there was a vast amount of information and access to free porn. Oh yes … and chat rooms. So for a while, Clint was the Internet expert. When he first used a search engine he typed the word ‘potato’ and was so excited by the results that he surfed the web for four hours steady. By the end of the week, there wasn’t anyone else in Kells who knew more about spuds than Clint. So this night Bert went over to visit him and to view this new-fangled surfing the web. Clint showed him how to log on to the Internet and look at the huge amount of information on potatoes that was there for the asking. Bert marvelled at all this. Then he asked –

“D’jever luck at the porn Clint?”

“I wudnae waste ma time." 

“What about the chat rooms?”

“D’ye wantae see the chat rooms?”

“Aye. I wudn’t mine seein’ them.”

So with that Clint started tapping away at the keyboard. He found a chat room and logged on. Within a moment Debby was requesting Clint join her in a private room. He, shocked, hit the back button, logged off, switched off the computer and pulled out the plugs at the socket. “That’s enough o’ that nonsense. D’ja want tay?”

A Letter From Nelly

Springhill,

Cullybackey

31^st January, 2025

My Dearest Cousin,

Hoping this letter finds you and yours in good spirits. I am sorry to have left this letter so long, but life got in the way as they say. A great deal has happened since I last dropped you a line, and not all of it was good.

Were I to dwell on global occurrences I might depress us both so much that we should have to take to our beds for the remainder of the winter. Instead, I will concentrate on domestic matters.

We had quite the storm last week, quite unsafe to go out of doors with all the bits of hedges and trees blowing about. Sadly the middle bay of our polytunnel lost its covering and of course, the children’s trampoline rolled away taking the washing line and part of a small tree with it. The trampoline is wrecked but it could have been much worse. Our friend Howie lost his polytunnel, glasshouse, hen house and hens. His hens were not blown away, Foxy took them. Such opportunists, foxes.

Still, we were lucky to keep the electricity. It didn’t even flicker. Others were not so fortunate with thousands of people without power for days.

The next thing was I got another stomach bug. Remember I had one just after Christmas. Throwing up for 12 hours and off my food and feet for another 12. No fun. Folk keep telling me it’s a virus, something going around but funny it always seems to happen when I have been ‘over-indulging’ which is something I tend to do when my friend Cinta is having a sleepover. I’ve decided to eat more sensibly for a while and not to take alcohol at all. So far so good.

Speaking of eating sensibly, Bert has been told he has Type2 diabetes! Swisser could hardly believe it as he has always been slim. On Tuesday had a long day at the hospital having various tests as his blood sugar was extremely high. They were even considering starting him on insulin! Querying he might have Type1! Which would be highly unusual for a man of his years. Instead, he is on another drug and has to do a prick test before and after meals so we are both going to be eating sensibly from now on. The good news is that his blood sugar score has more than halved and the lovely nurses are pleased with him. Bert has been fortunate not to have had much to do with hospitals etc. and cannot get over how lovely everyone is. I told him it’s because he is a lovely patient.

Of course, he is a little bit sad that he can’t have cream and lashings of golden syrup on his porridge anymore. I have told him he can have it as a treat on his birthday.

But poor Cinta! When she was with us at the weekend she said she had five days off work to look forward to and was so happy about it. But that evening her dog Dora (sister to our Jess) collapsed while out on a nighttime walk and had to be carried home. They managed to get a vet’s appointment the next day but the news was very bad. The whole family are heartbroken. They brought her out to bury her here yesterday. She got a lovely spot between the hamamelis and the hebe. It’s strange to think that next January (If we are spared!) and the hamamelis is in full bloom again she will be gone 12 months. The life of a dog is not long.

Which brings Judy to mind. I cannot see her being with us a year hence. Oh! I will be glad to see this month over and done with. Too much anger and sadness and not nearly enough hope.

I shall finish now before I drive you under the bed covers. Perhaps the next time I write there will be some more cheerful news to report

Your loving, hopeful cousin,

Nelly

Dora and Jess in their younger days. Dora at the front

Hamamelis Pallida 

One From Ten Years Ago

 

Burning Books

One of my delights is reading to Martha and Evie; that pleasure is greatly increased when I enjoy the story myself. We are all loving the Winnie the Pooh stories by A.A. Milne. A few weeks ago I was given a pile of books by a friend. Most of them were Charlie and Lola books which were new to me but I knew Martha would be pleased with them. There was also a Winnie the Pooh book which was unfamiliar. Martha picked Charlie and Lola for this afternoon's reading session. It was OK. It might grow on me as I become familiar with the characters. Evie chose the new Winnie the Pooh book. As I opened it I saw that it was  a Disney book written by someone called Tammi J. Santa Croce. The children appeared to enjoy it but not me. It jarred. The prose was inelegant, the tone simplistic, the story trite. Croce had endowed Piglet with a stammer which was entirely ignored by me in the reading. The worst of it was the author's treatment of Tigger. She had him saying things like 'li'l buddy', 'where are ya?' and 'tigger-ific'. The most awful part was when he said, 'Hey, buddy boy! Whatcha doin'?' I was appalled and resolved to get rid of the dreadful book at my first opportunity. It's actually burning on the fire right now.

I don’t care what nonsense you think.

The title is from something I came across on social media. The person who wrote it was tired of listening to misinformed baloney that some folks picked up watching YouTube videos.

For me YouTube is for revisiting musicians I've not listened to in an age or to hear new to me music. It's an amazing resource. But to inform myself on history or current affairs? I don't think so. Because...

'Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.'

January Blues

 

First of all - a Victoria Sponge update. A recent reader will remember that Bert was making one for the visit of Martha, Evie, their folks and the Antipodean branch of the Haribo family. I illustrated that post with a picture of a Mary Berry Vic Sponge and some of the FB folk thought that was the one that Bert created. Afraid not. We did not take a picture of Bert's VS nor did we tell our guests (except Paul) that Woody had munched a chunk out of the lower layer. It must have been all the eggs and butter that attracted him. Cats do love a bit of dairy. 

As far as I know, none of our guests got cat flu. I was careful only to serve them the parts of the cake that remained uncattered.  The cake was actually delicious, much nicer than the carrot cake I made. Onwards and upwards with the Victoria Sponge, Bertram.

It was after that enjoyable evening that my mood declined. Nothing to look forward to except snow and icy weather and taking down the Christmas Tree that I had grown to love. That tree cheered me every day it was up. When I took it down on Sunday I had another mood slip.

I let the news get to me. Certain names were triggering. I won't mention them. President Carter's funeral was the only news event I tuned into and then only slightly. One glimpse of an over-made-up face and I recoiled from it.

But, enough of that. I am going to look for joy even it only lasts a second. I usually don't like snow but this time it was beautiful. Not too much of it, not that deep but certainly crisp and even. I'll draw a veil over the slippy, slidy, very scary journey I made on Tuesday when I foolishly took the back road from Galgorm to home. At one point I thought I would have to phone Bert to bring the tractor to pull me out of a hedge.

Since then I've been confined to barracks. Hannah doesn't even like me leaving the house in case I fall and break something. I might go out tomorrow.

I had a lovely chat with London Sister earlier. That's why I'm going to search out my joy. She told me so. That picture of the frosted witch hazel is joyful even if, thanks to my dodgy sinuses, I can never smell it.  I'm told it's divine.

Also, the cats good Pippin and bad Woody curled up together. It's a rare event these days. Pippin doesn't like Woody that much.

I wish Rusty had someone to cosy up to this cold night. This might be when he really feels the loss of Lily. He has lots of fresh straw, a sleeping bag tied around him and an old duvet. I hope it's enough.

Victoria Sponge

Over the past few months Bert has taken to making cakes and usually, they are very good. He started with baked cheesecakes and these were excellent. His Chocolate Guinness has been a big success on two occasions. But... he is becoming over confident, and thinks he can do no wrong. At Christmas his Sicilian Orange and Lemon cake was a flop, literally. It is a tricky one but I've managed to make it work many times. 

Now Chocolate Guinness cake may be easy but the classic Victoria Sponge is not. I remember serving up a failed VS to the children many years ago and Martha asking me,

Granny, why are your cakes always like biscuits?

We are having people over this Saturday (many of them Australian) and Bert is making a Victoria Sponge. This is Thursday. I'm all for getting ahead but I'd have thought the day before would be soon enough. Anyway I've just gone in to the kitchen to check on his progress and he seems to be making a hash of it. I kindly told him so and he assures me that all will be well. He is using cake tins that are far too deep and he has not lined them! 

I am torn between hoping his Victoria Sponge will be successful and wanting it to be a disaster so that I can say,

I told you so!

Here's what I think. He could not care less if his cake does not work out because he wants to eat it immediately, no matter what. 

Mary Berry's Victoria Sponge. Bert has a lot to live up to here. I'll keep you all posted.

Conversations

 Bert: Where's that Holy Joe calendar that was on the freezer?

(A local congregation blesses us annually with a calendar featuring scenes from the Northern part of Ireland  complete with Biblical verses, also some tracts, and a CD of their pastor's sermons.)

Nelly: It's in the recycling bin.

Bert: What? Why did you do that?

Nelly: I do it every year.

Bert: But I needed a calendar for my room.

Nelly: You have a calendar. The Fane Valley calendar that Feely gave us, the one you said that Clint would be so jealous of because of all the pictures of fine Hereford bastes.

Bert: I think it was very negative of you throwing out the Gospelly calendar.

Nelly: I do it every year and you've never complained before.

I am a bit worried that Bert might have succumbed to Late-Onset Presbyterianism. I shared my worries with Hannah. She said,

Mum, I think you need to accept that as Bert grows older he will be turning into Pearlie. Don't be telling him I said that.

I said,

But I tell him that every single day.

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Later on that day, I'm in Tescos. There is a stand offering reduced bedding items, duvet sets, pillow cases etc. in shades of soft green that exactly match my bedroom. I'm drawn to it. There is a throw that tempts me. But I cannot see what price it is. I go to the help desk with the item and explain my predicament. The assistant is a lady of mature years, giving off an air of being completely scundered with Christmas and the New Year. She scanned the throw and said,

You may put that back on the shelf. It's not reduced. Twenty pounds. I wouldn't give that for it!

I did as she said. And loved her for it.

It's that time of the year again.