A Post From 14 Years Ago

 

Bert hasn't changed much in the last 14 years. He still goes out in public like an unkempt hobo. But now that he's older he feels the cold more and no longer goes commando. 

31st May, 2009

Bert was getting ready to make a delivery yesterday morning. He was wearing a threadbare shirt, filthy cords turned up at the ankle and grubby Birkenstocks. “You’re not going to walk into a garden centre looking like that, are you?” I yapped. “These are my working clothes,” says he. “For God’s sake,” says I. “People will think you’re a tramp! At least change your trousers.” “But I have no trousers,” says he. “Your arse!” says I. “Your drawers and wardrobes are full of trousers. Wait there till I get you a pair.” I brought him down a pair of Levis and, with enough to do, he changed into them. “You can get changed back into your filthy old trousers when you get back.” I said. And so he did.

Later that evening he had the job of taking Aunt Lizzie back to Kells. After a day in the tunnels and the vegetable patch he was even dirtier than before. “Do I have to change my trousers?” he enquired. “Ach no. Sure you’ll do. You’ll only be going in somewhere to buy wine and what odds if you’re bogging. They’ll not know you and they’ll just think you’re a crazy eccentric.”

He brought home the wine. We relaxed in the cool of the evening.

“I got the wine in Kells.”

”Did you?”

”Aye. And I ran into Sam Greer. He was asking if you were still working at the place down the road. And I could see that the girl at the checkout was pricking up her ears.”

”Oh dear God! And you standing there like a dirty hobo!”

”I said you were.”

”I’m the only woman works there! They’ll connect me with you!”

”And I said to him, ‘We got married you know!’”

“You didn’t!”

“I did. And that’s not the worst of it. I looked down and weren’t my fly buttons open and my pubes sticking out!”

Roses Round The Door

Bertie Mill's Dublin Bay, originally uploaded by NellyMoser.

Kells, despite only being a small village, boasts two garden centres. This is not as widely known as it ought to be for there are quite a few people who have only heard of one of these.

I patronise both and this is my opinion -

If you want a bite to eat, or a pair of secateurs, perhaps some artificial flowers or maybe a draught excluder in the form of an elongated border collie then go to the one with the big, big sign.

However if you want something to grow in your garden be it a climbing rose, summer bedding, perennials or shrubs and you want it to be of excellent quality, well grown and affordably priced then go to the Kells Garden Centre, the one on the Kilgad Road.