You Don't Say

What would we do without these health pundits? I really don't know. The latest bit of unbelievable news  concerns chocolate. You know...that brown stuff made from lard and sugar with a tad of cocoa bean somewhere in there - apparently it's bad for you if you eat too much of it. And, because we are all thick as bricks and don't know what is good for us, the brown stuff should be taxed so we don't eat so much of it.

Chocolate is already as dear as poison. I remember when Mars bars cost five pence - that is  five old pre-decimal pennies and the chocolate was thick enough to break your teeth on and the caramel was awesome and the whipped bit was...alright. Because if I'd wanted a Milky Way I'd have bought a Milky Way. And they were about 8 inches long. You ate them by nibbling off all the chocolate, which took ages, then you ate the boring Milky Way bit. Then you ate the chewy caramel. By this time there was chocolate up your nose and  caramel in your hair but you didn't care because you were only eight years old and you only got about three Mars bars a year.

Compared to the Mars Bar of yesteryear, today's  is a far inferior product. But taxing them? They're dear as poison anyway. Aren't they already taxed?

So leave us alone Health Bullies and Bosses. We're paying enough tax already.  If we want to eat sugar and lard and the food companies are mustard-keen to sell it to us then keep on saying so on the packet and let us make our own choices.