Thursday, December 16, 2004

Whatever Happened To Jim Bob and Fruit Bat?

Can there be a more plaintive sound than that of a tin whistle being played in an unheated polytunnel by a man banished from his cosy home on a cold winter’s day.

This man woke up crabbit. He doesn’t like cold winter days. And when I suggested that our to be refurbished home should contain a soundproofed room he replied, “Maybe instead I should get myself a woman who appreciates good music.”

So to cheer him up I made him brunch. Then to wind him up I accused him of dressing in boiler suit, body warmer and woolly hat to deceive callers that he had been up from 7am grafting away among his trees and bushes. Today I noticed that Bert’s woolly hat is inscribed with the words

CARTER
The Unstoppable Sex Machine

This pixie was left behind by ZB who was, at one time, a diehard fan of Carter USM. To wind him up even more I suggested that Unstoppable should be replaced by Unstartable. So we had a conversation about whatever happened to Carter. Bert said, “Are they dead?” I said I didn’t think so. We reminisced about the tee shirts, which the girls wore. Z had one with a penis on it, which she wore to her granny’s and embarrassed me hugely. Bert said Carter were crap because the songs aren’t played any more.

Discuss – Carter. Were the tee shirts better than the music?
Therapy? Were the tee shirts better than Carter’s? Better than the music?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

They are still about, and Fruitbat released an album last year. It sucked.

Oh, heh, if we are ever in the pub, or I get round to it on meh blog, remind me to recount how I started a riot (peelers fighting 6ft punks) at a Carter gig in 1990. The gig was cancelled after a few songs (we got the best ones, though) and we all got tickets for the next gig free.

The tee-shirts were rubbish. Give me my 'Sample It, Loop It, Fuck It and Eat It' one anyday. (Yes, without the *. To prove I was at the show. Or my ace 'Not Now, James (fromt) We're Busy (back) in the style-ee of James' shirts.)

Still, Sheriff Fatman was a top disco tune.

--m

dave bones said...

The band were as crap as the t-shirts, I think and I've got a "sample it loop it fuck it and eat it" long sleeved t-shirt too, now THEY were a band.

I'd love to see the punks vs cops at carter USM gig story online if it gets out of the pub!

Nelly said...

And I'd like to hear that story too.

Anonymous said...

Ok then.

http://www.stray-toaster.co.uk/blog/archives/005993.html

--m.

Anonymous said...

We know you are biased towards Therapy? t-shirts anyway. Afterall, they did have a t-shirt which said 'be nice to your parents'. ZB

Nelly said...

But did you listen to them? I have it on good authority that Andy was damn nice to his parents and to other people's parents as well.

Anonymous said...

i think carter played better music but therapy had better tee shirts. i used to steal dads and ZBs all the time. HB

Nelly said...

Nah Hannah - Therapy? had the best tees and the best tunes. Not that I liked them or anything. But they were good driving music.