Thursday, December 16, 2004

Whatever Happened To Jim Bob and Fruit Bat?

Can there be a more plaintive sound than that of a tin whistle being played in an unheated polytunnel by a man banished from his cosy home on a cold winter’s day.

This man woke up crabbit. He doesn’t like cold winter days. And when I suggested that our to be refurbished home should contain a soundproofed room he replied, “Maybe instead I should get myself a woman who appreciates good music.”

So to cheer him up I made him brunch. Then to wind him up I accused him of dressing in boiler suit, body warmer and woolly hat to deceive callers that he had been up from 7am grafting away among his trees and bushes. Today I noticed that Bert’s woolly hat is inscribed with the words

CARTER
The Unstoppable Sex Machine

This pixie was left behind by ZB who was, at one time, a diehard fan of Carter USM. To wind him up even more I suggested that Unstoppable should be replaced by Unstartable. So we had a conversation about whatever happened to Carter. Bert said, “Are they dead?” I said I didn’t think so. We reminisced about the tee shirts, which the girls wore. Z had one with a penis on it, which she wore to her granny’s and embarrassed me hugely. Bert said Carter were crap because the songs aren’t played any more.

Discuss – Carter. Were the tee shirts better than the music?
Therapy? Were the tee shirts better than Carter’s? Better than the music?

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are still about, and Fruitbat released an album last year. It sucked.

Oh, heh, if we are ever in the pub, or I get round to it on meh blog, remind me to recount how I started a riot (peelers fighting 6ft punks) at a Carter gig in 1990. The gig was cancelled after a few songs (we got the best ones, though) and we all got tickets for the next gig free.

The tee-shirts were rubbish. Give me my 'Sample It, Loop It, Fuck It and Eat It' one anyday. (Yes, without the *. To prove I was at the show. Or my ace 'Not Now, James (fromt) We're Busy (back) in the style-ee of James' shirts.)

Still, Sheriff Fatman was a top disco tune.

--m

5:12 pm  
Blogger dave bones said...

The band were as crap as the t-shirts, I think and I've got a "sample it loop it fuck it and eat it" long sleeved t-shirt too, now THEY were a band.

I'd love to see the punks vs cops at carter USM gig story online if it gets out of the pub!

5:20 pm  
Blogger Nelly said...

And I'd like to hear that story too.

6:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok then.

http://www.stray-toaster.co.uk/blog/archives/005993.html

--m.

8:22 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We know you are biased towards Therapy? t-shirts anyway. Afterall, they did have a t-shirt which said 'be nice to your parents'. ZB

8:43 pm  
Blogger Nelly said...

But did you listen to them? I have it on good authority that Andy was damn nice to his parents and to other people's parents as well.

9:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think carter played better music but therapy had better tee shirts. i used to steal dads and ZBs all the time. HB

7:50 pm  
Blogger Nelly said...

Nah Hannah - Therapy? had the best tees and the best tunes. Not that I liked them or anything. But they were good driving music.

8:27 pm  

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