That Was The Weekend And This Was Today

As usual most of my weekend was spent at work dealing with troubled teens and being annoyed by policemen who were trying to offload more of them unto me at ungodly hours of the night.

I cannot think of more irritating company than a bunch of girls who think they are so damn smart and aren’t that smart at all because they’ve all been sniffing deodorant all afternoon.

The first police officer phoned at 12:30am. At least he had the manners to apologise for it. I couldn’t take his little waif because we’d excluded her a couple of weeks before for threatening violence to staff. We hate that. She is a total brat who should have YEAH WHATEVER tattooed on her forehead. And she is with bratling but unfortunately no room at the inn tonight

Then I was wakened at 4:30am by a loud hammering at the door. At first I thought it was yobs, but no, it was a big tough polis with a poor little battered stray in the back of his car. Turns out she was excluded too for having an extremely violent boyfriend who she’d sneaked in on many occasions. Policeman wasn’t pleased when I informed him I wasn’t taking her off his hands and said, “So where does the buck stop then?” ‘Not with me matey’ is what I thought. Taking the psychotic boyfriend into the equation it seems to me that she and me would be a lot safer if she spent the night at the police station surrounded by big tough peelers and that is what I told him.

So after a totally inadequate night’s sleep I woke to a new day, which progressed reasonably well until around 11. I’d discovered first thing that several of them had left the premises after the second police call. It turned out that they’d headed to an all night party in a nearby village armed with the communal drug money. Unfortunately they’d left Looby Lou (not her real name or even her real nickname) asleep in bed and it was her turn to sub the drugs. She went mental when she discovered that they’d gone without her and taken all the money and cigarettes. So when they got back it was non-stop aggro for about three hours. I think I prevented them from actually getting physical and I also prevented Looby Lou from throwing a television set down the stairs. But it was an exhausting experience. When things happen at work it takes longer to do the paperwork and I did not get out of the building until nearly 5pm. Thank God I’m a part-timer. I’d be crazy now if I was still full-time.

Today has been a lot better. I set the alarm for 8 and got up at 10. I find it hard to get up because I hate to disturb the dogs that always look so peaceful. At breakfast I taunted Bert that the dogs prefer me and he said that the reason they like me best is because I smell of poo. My sense of humour is just as puerile as his so naturally I found this hilarious. I must point out though that I do not smell of poo. I smell of dog.

Then I went Christmas shopping. After the first hour all I had bought was some pumpkin seeds and coconut macaroons for my own self. But I did rather well in the second hour and left loaded with bags. I intend to do the rest of my present buying in the off-licence so that’s it pretty much sorted bar the wrapping.

I met Jazzer for a late lunch and we went to Subway. As we wiped the sweet onion sauce that dribbled down our chins we thought it was just as well that we don’t wear make up or we’d have looked a bit rare with it half rubbed off. I told Jazzer she didn’t need make up as she was completely gorgeous without it. She just kept eating her oatmeal and raisin cookie and said nuthin’. Oh well.

It was Matty after that. I sorted out her bird feeders and took her to visit Daddy. He ate Pooh Bear ice cream and was in excellent form.

I think I might be starting to look forward to Christmas. Hannah will be home on the 24th and on the day itself I have arranged to visit Dad and give him his presents and Christmas lunch. I'll be working Christmas from 3 but it should be quiet as most of the terrible teens will be with their families. What I am really looking forward to is Boxing Day evening which will be my Christmas celebration. We hope to see Z & D, Mel, Swisser and anybody else who happens to drop by. Ploppy Pants and his Jenny Wren are also welcome especially if he gets my car through its MOT this Wednesday.