So That's That Then

That's my last shift at Tinkerton over and done with.

Just the two incidents to deal with. First a reported 'hate crime' where I managed to persuade the victim that the PSNI might not be able to give him their full attention on account of it being Saturday night. I can just imagine the desk sergeant's response if I asked him to send two officers up pronto because Lily is giving Billy 'dirty looks' and calling him Rentboy. Then there was the theft of a packet of Daz from Gilly's kitchen window. Unfortunately this heinous crime was not caught on camera. The alleged culprits were seen taking the soap powder by Gilly's swain - Our Lad. Gilly suggested that Our Lad might go out and give the wee locals 'a hammering' but I advised her against it on the grounds that if he did so he'd likely be 'lifted' and then, probably, 'burnt out' on account of being 'foreign' i.e. English.

I worked my last two shifts with Ballymena's answer to Vicky Pollard. She never drew breath. Not only would she have talked the legs off a stool, she would also have removed the hind legs off a donkey. But to be fair to the girl she's a lot smarter than Ms Pollard. And she didn't seem to mind that I took notes as she spoke.

Then this morning George (colleague) came in. He had a big bunch of flowers for me. Chocs too and a card. Leaving present from the team. I was chuffed to the nth degree. There are some things I'll miss about Tinkerton after all.