On the left: Ms Britney Spears with clothes on which, given her recent form, makes a pleasant change.
I showed Bert some of the ruder pictures of Ms Spears that had emerged on the internet and he was utterly appalled.
"What is the world coming to," he fumed, "When women belittle themselves so by displaying their all and what they had for breakfast to any passing paparazzi? Where will it end? Truly these are the Last Days."
He was equally outraged when I showed him similarly immodest pictures of Ms Lindsay Lohan, Ms Paris Hilton and Mrs Katie Andre.