Never worry. Sure I dug a bucket of carrots the other day. They're in one of the sheds.
Goodoh. You going to fetch them?
Mmm. Yeah. Except I can't remember which shed they're in.
I don't know what it is he gets up to that gives him such a poor recall of recent events. Anyway out he goes armed with big torch to return minutes later in a rage.
Some bastard's away with our carrots!
You're joking! Maybe you were in the wrong shed?
No! I found the bucket I put them in. They're away - every last one of them!
This was strange. Who'd nick a bucket of carrots and not even take the bucket? It's only a week or two since we were robbed of a stone of beetroot out of the tractor shed. Once again the thief (or thieves) took the veggies but left the containers.
It wasn't a pleasant thought that some vegetable thief was sneaking about our yard robbing our roots but it was very strange that they were leaving the containers behind. If I was out pinching beetroot I'd definitely take the buckets and trays they were in. So we thought again. Maybe it was Ratty that made off with the beetroot and carrots? But Ratty tends to gnaw food where he finds it. He makes a mess. Our veggie thief didn't leave as much as a leaf behind.
So this left Mr Nutkin. I truly believe that somewhere around this place there's a big-tailed grey fecker sitting on a mound of beetroot and carrots that would choke a donkey. And to think it was only yesterday I was giving out to Bert about trying to blast Tufty out of the trees. I'll be positively encouraging him from now on.
BLAMMM! Take that ye beetroot-munching bastard!