Young Loveheart: Hardy Hoor

Young Loveheart doesn’t believe in wasting time hanging around the A&E department. If he needs a spot of minor surgery he just does it himself. There was the time he cut himself at work, and to the bone mind! And he looks at his gashed finger and he thinks -that needs a bit of medical attention that does. So he reached for the superglue, pressed the edges of the wound together, applied a dollop of glue and Bob’s your uncle.

He will take medical advice when necessary. The time he had the huge lump on his wrist Young Rooney’s da, the GP, just happened to be leaving young Rooney off at Young Loveheart’s place. Young Loveheart goes out to him and showed him the lump and Young Rooney’s da says - that’s a ganglion. It’s going to need surgery.

And surgery is just what young Loveheart performed. He applied a tourniquet and put fresh blades in his Stanley knife and began incising. Took ages, he said and he had to go real deep. But he got it out in the end and dolloped on the superglue and never looked back. Showed me the scars and they’re ever so neat.

In fact the only time he’s ever had to outreach surgical services is the time he almost severed his penis on the toilet seat. But he was only about five then.