Saturday, March 10, 2007

Politics Is A Dirty Word

Nelly: What’s the worstest, horriblest, nastiest word you know?

Hannah: Thatch.

Jamie: All words are great. I have no words I dislike.

Hannah: What about ‘Paki’ – you hate that word.

Swisser: What if your name is Patrick? Then you could be called Packy. That’d be OK.

Hannah: Yeah! An Irish-Pakistani born on St Patrick’s Day. Called Packy. That’d be cool.

Nelly: What words do you hate most Bert? Work? Morning?

Bert: Shite. Nag.

Hannah: I hate the word chunder. It gives me shivers; it doesn’t even suggest that you’re just throwing up – it sounds that you’re throwing up great big lumps.

Jamie: Mot. Mot’s a pretty bad word. It means a woman’s private part.

Nelly: In my case that would mean purse, which come to think…

Jamie: Felch is a pretty bad word.

Nelly: Wow! Do you read Twenty Major? I only heard of that word for the first time in my life yesterday.

Jamie: No. Who’s Twenty Major?

Swisser: Do you know you’re down to your last two teabags?

Nelly: Never worry. I’ll go to a shop tomorrow be stuffed with teabags. Bert you should be kinder to Swisser. Coming up here and having to make her own tea and then we eat all her chocolate.

Bert: Ach. She’ll be alright.

Nelly: So what about the election then? Who’d you vote for?

Swisser: I didn’t vote for anyone. Didn’t get my form in time. Anyway what’s the point of voting where I live?

Nelly: That didn’t stop us. We voted. SDLP.

Swisser: Sure what’s the point of that? That’s a wasted vote.

Nelly: No. It’s not. My father said if you don’t use your vote you might as well be an animal in a field.

Swisser: I usually vote.

Nelly: You didn’t vote that time Brian used your polling card for roaches did you?

Swisser: I did so!

Jamie: Yeah! I vote and I toke.

Nelly: Still never mind parties and policies. If you had to shag one of them it’d have to be Gerry, wouldn’t it?

Jamie: Yeah! For sure!

Swisser: No. It’d have to be Martin for me.

Hannah: Anybody but Paisley. Who’d shag him?


hootchinhannah said...

I just thought of another. Ballbag is pretty bad.

Cybez said...

Nelly that's brilliant, you should be a scriptwriter for something a bit like 'Dry your eyes' :-)

Nelly said...

Hannah - the word or the actual appendage?

Cybez - I'll take that as a compliment even tho' I'm not certain you meant it

Cybez said...

Nelly it was a compliment. I was in 'kinks' at the end especially about the guy from the Dictatorship Unionist Party. I'm wondering when the book ' the Sex Life of Ian and Eileen' will be out?

Anonymous said...

I have it on good authority that Ian'n'Eileen have only 'done it' three times. This despite them having four children!

And the scriptwriters job? When do I start?


hootchinhannah said...

The word. The appendage isn't exactly the nicest thing in the world either but kinda important. Like a necessary evil.

Nelly said...

It's where Manuel keeps his children.

ellie said...

Think I would rather be an animal in the field and waste my vote if voting meant having to shag any of the party leaders!

Nelly said...

Imagine having to... with Reg Empey. Sorry. It's just too awful a thought.

Cybez said...

I've met Stella E and at the time never thought about such a thing and since then never have.No doubt there'll be one of those bloggers that suffer from OPBD will put a poll up asking 'Which Politician would you shag?'