Thursday, December 13, 2007

I Blame Flann O'Brien

Where have I been? How could I have missed this?
Seems that if it's not on Radio 4 between the hours of 8:30-9am I just don't get to hear about it.
It was Facebook (bless it) that alerted me to this story which I find interesting on several levels.

The first is that it occurred in a hostel and that the cleaners who discovered this man engaged in an act of fornication with his bicycle were "extremely shocked". Psshah! They must have been working in hostels for about five minutes if that shocked them.

Secondly - the hostel manager called the police. Why? What harm was the man doing? Did the bicycle care? I'd say the manager didn't like the cut of the bike-shagger's jib and just wanted him out. You have to wonder, what if Mr Bikeman had been engaged in an act of passion with a blowup doll or a hollowed out pumpkin or Liver a la Portnoy? Would that have been more acceptable? I knew a bloke once who claimed to have shagged a hole in a tree. I wonder where you are now Mr Tony Murray from Antrim town. Last I heard working at the counter in the dole office. Made a change from standing on the other side of it anyway.

Anyways - back to the cycle-rider. It made me think, as I often do,  of the human-bicycle interchange theory expounded in 'The Third Policeman' . Perhaps yerman wanted to speed that process up a bit.


Ronni said...

Seems like shagging a willing bicycle should be allowed in the privacy of one's hostel room.

Did they call in a Victim's Advocate to determine if the bicycle was actually willing? Did it scream at all?

Nelly said...

I hear it didn't even ring its bell!

Hageltoast said...

I cant decide whether really Loving your bike is weirder than throwing someone out over it. Nope. Total over reaction, as long as it was his bke of course.

Ronni said...

And, as long as the bike was willing. And old enough to make the decision.