I've got these scales that measure your weight in quarter pounds. For the past few days I've been too scared to use them.
This morning I plucked up my courage, stepped on and found that I'd gained 5 lbs. Oh well. Almost immediately I felt the urge to do poo. Afterwards, for it was a goody, I stepped back on to the scales hopeful of a small weight loss. And found that I'd gained three-quarters of a pound!