Tuesday, February 15, 2005

An Embarrassing Event

Today I took Matty to visit Dad but first we went to the Mid-Antrim Animal Sanctuary charity shop where I bought a denim skirt, a sexy fall off the shoulders angora sweater and a Nicole Fahri top all for the sum of £8. All poor Matty got was a Ruth Rendell and she was a bit sad about that. So as we were planning to have coffee at Ditty’s in Castledawson it was just so near to Magherafelt we thought we might as well hit its one and only charity shop – which was having a 20 pence an item clear out. I won’t go into the details of the furry hats, linen shirts and intellectual reading matter that I acquired but I only spent £2.

By this time we were pretty peckish so headed fast to Dawson City. At first things went well. We had baked potatoes and coffee to accompany. There wasn’t much conversation as we fell to the spuds but I was enjoying listening to the business meeting going on at the next table between the head honcho (Mr Ditty) and a bunch of suits.

Then drama erupts. Matty spills her coffee. None of it went on the suits or myself but the table and floor were swimming in it. My poor old Mum was mortified. Mr Ditty raises an imperious arm and hails moppers and wipers. Swarms of them arrived. Mr Ditty continues talking buns to the suits. Matty is nearly in tears, poor thing. While the mess was being cleaned up I spent my time soothing her, telling her “never mind, an accident, nobody died.” She was all calmed down and at her replacement cup of coffee when it dawned on me. I was going to tell her but I’d have had to shout (she’s deaf) and I didn’t want everyone to know. So I sloped off to the counter

“Excuse me. I need to speak to someone about the spill we had.”
“Yes. How can I help you?”
“Um. It’s a bit embarrassing. Can I tell you in private?”

With that I was led away by a nice, motherly woman.

“You know that spill we had?”
“Well, I’d taken my tooth out. It was wrapped in a napkin.”

It was at this point she started cackling. She headed over to the counter and informed all the staff (four of them) that my false tooth had been gathered up and thrown in the bin. There were roars of laughter all round. A customer sitting at the counter nearly choked on her coffee. The only person who didn’t get it was a Slovakian waitress but she’d only been here a few weeks.

So that was how I found myself behind the scenes at Ditty’s hoking through the bin bags. Two of them helped me and it was one of them found it.

It’s good to bring a smile to people’s faces even if Nelly’s own smile left something to be desired. A tooth.

So what with all that carry-on and the size of the tip I left I expect to be well remembered the next time I’m in Ditty’s of Dawson City.


Anonymous said...

god. I neve realised having false teeth could be so challenging. I used to joke about getting false teeth instead of my own but I too would lose them and have all sorts of embarrasing incidents.
My Gran used to have false teeth and hated them with a passion. She took to the habit of hiding them so no-one would make her wear them. Some of her hiding places were quite creative - after many minutes (maybe even hours!) searching one day, the much hated teeth were once found in a dried flower arrangement.

Nelly said...

It's the removable kind that are the problem. Permanent falsies (like crowns) are great. Teeth are one of God's little design flaws. I really like the sound of your Granny, bless her soul.