Thursday, January 04, 2007


Homophobic Bus Driver: D’ye watch that Celebrity Big Brother last night?

Nelly: Yeah. I forgot it was on. Only saw the last twenty minutes.

HBD: Y’see that one out of Steps? Says he’s gay now. What d’ye think of that?

Nelly: Good timing. Good publicity for his career. Do him no harm.

HBD: Y’see that Ken Russell? He used to make very explicit films didn’t he?

Nelly: Yeah. Got a surprise there. Didn’t see him coming in. Thought he was Charlie Drake at first glimpse.

HBD: Y’see that Women In Love?

Nelly: Oh yes. Remember the nude wrestling scene?

HBD: Oh yes. I remember that. Very explicit wasn’t it?

Nelly: You think so?

HBD: Remember that Last Tango In Paris? That was very explicit wasn’t it?

Nelly: For the time.

HBD: You like explicit films?

Nelly: You mean sexually explicit?

HBD: Oh yes.

Nelly: Tell you the truth I prefer a good war film. Blood and guts, exploding shells, heads, that sort of thing.


Ronni said...

Umm...just how well do you know this busdriver?

Nelly said...

It's a work thing. He drives the Special Bus.I'm the Bus Guide.

John said...

You thought Ken Russell was Charlie Drake?!

I realize Big Brother is tasteless, but I've never imagined they'd put a corpse in the house!

Mudflapgypsy said...

He didn't already know that yer man from steps was gay? How does he drive the bus being both blind and deaf then? I saw a documentary on "H" and I knew from just watching that, when I say knew I do of course mean that I had my suspicions ! They are all barking mad and shamelessly after publicity. Oops, there I go stating the obvious again.

Nelly said...

So I turned round and I says to Bert, "That's not yerman Charlie Drake is it? I thought he was dead!" And he turns round and he says to me, "Charlie Drake is dead as Hector ye eedjit! That's yerman Ken Russell!" So I turns round and I go, "Ken Russell! Ken Russell'd never go into the Big Brother house. Are you sure it's not yerman Michael Winner?" And he turns round and he goes, "It's yerman Ken Russell ye eedjit."

And then we'd both done so much turning round that we fell over dizzy.

The HBD never heard of Steps other than the ones on the Special Bus.