First Days

There are lots of first days in temping work. The run up to them is always nerve wracking. After the angst the actual first day is almost always a doddle. Today was no exception.

It's the third or fourth days that can be problematical. Those are the days when the employer might start to think, is this one ever going to get the hang of this?

I meant to swot the company on the web last night but I watched the Big Brother final instead. Jermaine Jackson was robbed. Not to say that Shilpa wasn't a worthy winner but...I cannot help thinking that they rig the vote. What perfection that she should win after her ordeal at the hands of Jade the Obscene. Methinks a fix.

I cannot help feeling sorry for Danielle though. She makes it to the final night and comes out to find she's a dumped social pariah. And what about Jack? Sitting on Russell Brand's show as large as life and as if he hadn't rode to 'fame' on the coat tails of Britain's most hated woman.

Do you know something? I've just decided. I'm never going to appear on TV.

Not a lot of people know this but Bert was on TV once. The Ulster News as it happens. Someone was being interviewed on the streets of Ballyclare and Bert just wandered past. He was wearing a light-coloured jacket and someone had written on it the legend,

I am a TV

Bert was not aware of any of this. He was going to a bun shop and all that was in his head was sausage rolls and currant squares.

Another person of my acquaintance that has appeared on the News is Swisser. She would normally be pontificating about the importance of eating breakfast or some such nutritional-type nugget of information. She's always going on about that sort of thing - even when she's not on Tv and only at Nellybert's for her tea. She'll be going on and on about transfats and carcinogens. I just say to her,

Leave work at work. Now shut up and eat your Jenny Bristow Pear Tart and never mind what sort of butter I used!

And speaking of butter the Wee Manny said he wasn't the better of the other Saturday night until the following Wednesday. He said he only had half an Interesting Brownie. But Ploppy Pants reports that he savaged three into him around about two in the morning. And had to be put to bed!