Being A Good Recycler

Other people hoard stuff. I keep things because they are important.

Bert's Aunt Nessie keeps, among other things, every loaf wrapping she's ever had - in case they should come in useful. Now if I were to list all the things that Nessie hoards I'd be here all day. Enough to say that there is just one narrow path through her house that is filled to the rafters with stuff. It is a blessing unto God that she never goes out to get more stuff and a further blessing that she only spends about three and sixpence a week so the amount of stuff trickling into her house these days is very minimal.

It must run in the family because Pearlie is also a hoarder. She still owns the box that Bert's first feeding bottle was packaged in. Actually she's got a bit of a thing about boxes. When she was on her feet a bit more she spent many a happy day sorting through her boxes. The idea was to get a box that fitted snugly inside another box. You'd get some great yoke of a box that once contained a television set and inside it would be a box that a vacuum cleaner came in. Inside that would be a microwave box and so on until you reached the little box in the middle which once held a bottle of eardrops or some other small thing.

Pearlie also hoarded scraps of fabric which she'd use to patch her aprons and knickers. She particularly liked silky labels and she'd often stitch these to her knickers so she'd know which way round to wear them.

But me? I never hoard things. I only keep stuff that is truly useful. Like all my old assignments from university. You'd never know when they might be needed.

Then I caught myself on. They're in the blue recycling bin as I speak. Obviously I removed them from their shabby presentation folders because you never know when one of those might come in handy.