I just watched a YouTube clip where Britney Spears hit a parked car. At first I sympathised as this was a very similar accident to the one I had that time I clipped the BMW. But the manner of the accident was where the similarities stopped.
In Britney's case the witnesses were a roving pack of paparazzi. In mine witnesses included the raging owner of the car.
In Britney's case all the focus was on her and her sports car. Nobody gave a toss about the parked vehicle she dunted.
In Britney's case she got out of her car in her skintight purple dress and showed off her knickers to the grateful paps. In my case I got out of my car in my dowdy office clothes and kept my knickers well out of it. Don't think showing them would have helped anyways.
In Britney's case she then swanned into a health food shop, surrounded by sycophants, gay admirers and snappers, and bought a load of vitamins. In my case I trudged dejected and alone into Kells Centra and bought a tub of cottage cheese. Nobody cared enough to put me on YouTube and I had to give that tosser £530.
And I know I'm the last person to give driving advice, but - honestly Britney! You'd handle that car a whole lot better if you'd get that effing Yorkshire Terrier out of your arms!
1 comment:
£530 - that's an expensive tub of cottage cheese!
Actually, I think this is the most poignant part of the story, because I empathise with it. You needed Ben & Jerry's, and maybe a family-sized bar of Galaxy... you got cottage cheese. It is noble and righteous. Heart-rending stuff.
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