Month's Mind

This Sunday morning Bert and I did something we've never done together before. We got up early and went to church. And on the way we picked up Hannah and Jakers and they went too.

It was Matty's Month's Mind today.

I did not cry at my father's funeral, nor did I weep at Matty's. It was far too soon, far too raw and for everyone's sake I had to hold myself together. But I did feel emotional today. Father F., who had been with her when she passed, said the Mass and we were all very glad that he did because he had been a wonderful support to Matty, and to us all, throughout the time of her illness.

Looking around that little chapel today I saw so very many friends. family and neighbours who had helped Matty and helped us all throughout her illness and before it. She was a very fortunate woman to have lived in such a caring community.

Many people have told us that we, as a family, did a fine thing keeping Mammy at home during her illness and ensuring that her quality of life was good right up until her final weeks. I do think we did a fine thing although, at times, it was very difficult. It wasn't the looking after our mother that was the hardest part, it was the fear that we would not be able to sustain it. But we did. We helped each other and we were helped in so many ways by so many different people.

That is why I felt emotional today. Today I was part of a community that I'd once belonged to, a community that my mother belonged to right up until her final moments. And also a family. A big family, an extended family, who look after each other and are there when it matters. I often told Matty how lucky she was to have so many people in her life that cared about her. Now I realise that I am lucky too.