The Blogmeet Of Doom

Firstly, I have to say that the title of this post is a just a leetle misleading, as last night's coffee & shortbread-fuelled blogmeet was a very pleasant occasion indeed.

After I had established, although not entirely to my satisfaction, the romantic status of all young persons present, we proceeded to discuss recent murders, slaughters and massacres and as a result convinced young Hails that she was very well off out of it.

Then we moved on to the amusing stuff, tales of global warming, bluebells, pilgrimages, naked men and religion. The evening flew by.

And speaking of flying - Ed never mentioned helicopters once! Talk about hiding your light under a bucket.

Thanks to Grannymar, S.E.V.E.N., the aforementioned Ed and Hails for a great night. And thanks to Hannah for not mortifying me at all with tales of my shortcomings.

Ballymena Blogmeet

This past week I’ve been having strange dreams, anxiety dreams. Dreams where I’m late for important interviews, dreams where I’ve got assignments and just as I’m ready to hand it in I realise I’ve missed an essential part of it. I’ve been waking up in a muck sweat panicking and then I realise it’s not really happening and still I feel on edge the whole of the day. So what’s up? What am I worrying about? Could it be that I’ve got a blog date? With Hails?

But Hails you say - but Hails is lovely! Hails is a total honeybun, a real sweetiepie!

Hmmm… If you’d been thrashed as thoroughly, frequently and humiliatingly at Scrabulous as I’ve been by Hails you might think again. She might seem like a pussycat but I know her as a ruthless, unpitying destroyer.

But that was then.

Hannah and I thoroughly enjoyed our morning with the lovely Hails. She’s a great girl and great crack. She’s off on an adventure soon so we’ll wish her all the best. And thanks to the magic of the internet Coffee Helps will still be with us.

Godspeed Hails. See you when you get back.

She threatens promises that she’s still going to keep murdering me at Scrabulous but one of these days…

Blogmeet

On Saturday, Hannah and I took the train to Belfast to meet some fellow bloggers. The meeting was so top secret that even Han and I didn’t know who we’d be meeting or where the meeting was. But fate smiled on us and we literally ‘bumped into’ our fellow conspiratorial whisperers at 1pm in S………

After an hour or so one of our number proposed that we regroup in a hostelry near Randalstown! Some might argue (and did) that this inn wasn’t a beagle’s gowl off Tannaghmore and it wasn’t that far away from two of County Antrim’s leading mental hospitals either. There were more than a few of the patients in the R..... I.. enjoying a lovely meal and Christmas day out with their parents/carers.

Owing to the secrecy surrounding this event there are no photographs. Instead here are a couple of snaps of some of the other diners we came across.

Three patients from the Idiot Savant ward at H....... Hospital enjoying a day out. God love them.

Nursing staff from the Idiot Savant ward at H....... Hospital pretending to enjoy themselves whilst out with their charges. It's not an easy job they do. Money wouldn't pay you.

What I Did On My Recent Four Days Off Work

Tuesday evening: Watched BB nominations and had a shower. Tuesday early evening: Done up like a kipper during home visit from our financial advisor Mr GFK. Dogs return from scunging. Tuesday midday: Zoë and I visited Matty and Leitrim Sister and saw highlights of the video from her birthday in Kerry. Best bit for me was Matty mistaking video camera for a still camera and grabbing hold of the nearest grandchild to pose rigidly for photograph. Tuesday morning: Visitors all use Nellybert shower (not at once) after hearing that it was tourist attraction comparable to Carrick-a-rede Rope Bridge only cheaper. Dogs escape and go scunging. Monday evening: Musical evening and supper at Nellybert’s. 9 out of 10 people agree that Tor is best guitarist ever to play Nellybert smoking room. Sorry other guitarists who may read this but he is. Monday afternoon: Cooking marathon. Monday midday: Shopping marathon. Sunday evening: Delightful evening with the Stray Toasters at Galgorm Manor Hotel followed by dreadful breach of etiquette by self. (Top secret – need to know basis only) Sunday afternoon: Hanging about reading the papers sort of thing. Sunday morning: Bed mostly. Saturday evening: Swisser visits, eats all the chocolate and tells tall tales as usual. Harry murders rabbit. Saturday afternoon: Delightful afternoon spent in company of Marc, Ed, The Broom, Hannah & Jamie. Also met Jaffs for unfortunately far too brief a time. I sat beside Ed but treated him with utmost respect the whole time. Beowulf was unable to make it and was sadly missed especially by the ladies of the company. Self included. Of course. Saturday morning: Drinking lots of tea, eating nothing, recovering from…. Very early Saturday morning: Delayed allergic reaction to Tinkerton. Very poorly indeed.

A Culchie's Day Oot

Yesterday Hannah and I travelled to Belfast in one of those swanky new trains. Of course the last time I travelled by rail it was on a parish excursion to Portrush on a steam train so it was quite an experience for me*. Hannah was affronted when I got stuck in the automatic sliding doors but at least I was able to get out of the train at Central Station unlike her the other night when she sailed on to Ballymoney and had to get Bert to come and rescue her out of Joey's (sob) Bar. I wasn't the only thing getting stuck as the ticket collector's machine was stuck as well and we all had to pay when we got off the train. I sent Hannah to the bathroom so we only had to pay one fare which paid NIR back nicely for taking an unwilling Hannah on a journey to Ballymoney.

Our reason for travelling to the capital city of Norn Iron was to meet lots of sophisticated blogging people and Beowulf**. I was worried that I wouldn't recognise anyone even though I'd seen most of their photos. But how wrong could I be? The first person I spotted was Marc. No converse trainers but who could mistake that glowing complexion, those flowing locks and that very dressy moleskin coat. Then along came the very youthful looking Ed who was also instantly recognisable despite not wearing blue (it was beige if you must know). I forget what sort of trousers he was wearing but that is probably a good thing for a woman of my years and station shouldn't be looking at a man's trouser region. I don't actually remember anybody's trousers except Hannah's which kept falling down but only when she was walking about..*** Stephen was wearing a red weatherproof jacket and a tee-shirt which Marc rather unkindly sneered at but nobody minded except Stephen who is a sensitive boy with dark Byronic looks and a dimple. Marc sneered a lot but he does it in such a jolly way and he is so shiny and clean that no one minds a bit.

I cannot tell you what Carrie looked like as it is a secret. But she is a very nice woman and not a bit scary like I thought she'd be****

To sum up - a very enjoyable and interesting afternoon. And thanks to Carrie for the tea and to Marc for the lift home.

*This is a lie
**That's you sorted for the chin photo
*** That's actually true.
****Little old lady indeed!